Light Through Darkness
by sophiesix
Summary: Sequel to Seeking Souls.Flame’s people are continuing to work towards a peaceful solution. Overshadowed by Bhaskar’s loss, Flame is rejuvenanted by an unlikely ally in another soul. But the lines of who they can trust become unclear...
1. Chapter 1

**Light through Darkness**

* * *

It's hard to fight for what you believe in when you don't know what to believe.

Flame's people are continuing to work towards a peaceful solution. Overshadowed by Bhaskar's loss, Flame is rejuvenanted by an unlikely ally in another soul. But the lines of who they can trust become unclear as their work on the Human Voice project leads the team into more and more danger.

* * *

For what are these scraps of life

But fleeting moments of light through darkness

*

I don't even care

About the way I feel today

Because it changes anyway

Something will make me cry or smile

Another picture on the pile

Close to you, Dj Tiesto.

*

For Alex

my bleeding romeo

who puts up with a lot from me

But who will rest peacefully in the end

* * *

**Contact**

*******

"Come on, put on some decent music!" Henry reached over and plugged his own music into the dashboard. A heavy beat shook the car.

"Jeez, not so loud!" Eddy grumbled, turning it down, "The Seekers will arrest us for noise pollution."

"Come off it, they would not," Henry said.

"Well they might, actually, no one in my street ever played music that loudly." I added, "It'd seem weird to them. They might check to see if we were human."

"What, not even at parties?" Henry asked, his eyes widening. I smiled to think of Henry's version of a party compared to my old neighbours'. I shook my head. Henry sat back for a moment, then began to sing along, nodding to the beat. Eddy groaned. Henry kept singing.

"Henry," Eddy said through clenched teeth. Henry sang a bit louder. I tried to concentrate on driving on the snowy road, and tried not to smile.

"Henry. Stop it. Now." Eddy said, as Henry launched into a dramatic rendition of the chorus.

"Oh my god. That's it," Eddy said from between his hands. He straightened up. "Flame, please pull over," he said in a very controlled voice. I obliged, as I watched the rear view mirror. The other car's headlights appeared shortly, dipping in query. I signaled with the indicator in response. They pulled in behind us. Alex and Dorsey got out, shrugging on their coats. Eddy got out, opened the rear car door and hauled Henry out by his ear. Henry screamed at him in protest, but Eddy pulled him over to the other car, oblivious.

"I can not stand him for another minute," Eddy fumed, "You take him, or I'll kill him."

"Ah, the Henry factor. Figured it was probably that. Probably about time we all had a break, huh?" Dorsey said, stretching. Alex went to get the thermos and I got out of the car, walking over to them slowly, rubbing my arms and stretching my neck. Alex passed around the mugs and I took mine without looking at him.

"We should turn off the headlights," I warned, "don't want people stopping to see if we need help."

"We should get our car further off the road, Dorsey," Alex said, going back to move it. Eddy turned off the headlights to our car and the snow turned from a blazing cone of white to an expanse of luminescent blue in the moonlight. Dorsey watched me sip my hot chocolate.

"You tired, honey?" she asked, her voice thoughtful.

"No I'm ok," I looked at her brightly, "We'll go to that camp on the plateau. The snow won't be so deep there. It's only a few hours away." Eddy rummaged in his pocket.

"Damn, I left the No Sleep at the hotel," he muttered. He went to check our car and Henry went to check the other car. Alex returned and Dorsey tried to hold my gaze, but I dropped it to my mug.

"Anyone for a biscuit?" Dorsey asked, walking away to find them. I drank my hot chocolate silently, gazing at the car. Alex picked up his mug, swirled the dark contents a few times, and put it down again, looking away. Dorsey returned with the biscuits, glaring at me.

"Biscuit, Alex?" she said pointedly, staring at me. He grabbed one. She passed them to me. I shook my head, staring into my mug. She frowned and ate one herself, still staring at me.

"Whoa, easy on the biscuit there, Dorsey, they never did you no harm," Henry said, grabbing them from her. She shook her head and stamped her feet a bit.

"Man it's _icy_ out here," she said.

"Sure is," Eddy agreed, "Sorry Flame, can't find any No Sleep anywhere."

"It's fine, don't worry about it," I told him, flashing him a smile, "thanks." Dorsey made a disgusted noise.

"We better get going," she said, pulling the biscuits off Henry and shoving them at Eddy. She walked off shaking her head, getting in the driver's seat of the other car.

"Shot gun!" Henry yelled and sprinted for Dorsey's other front seat. I got in my driver's seat as Eddy got in the other side. Alex hesitated, looking at our car, and back at Dorsey's. I slammed my door and started the engine. Alex turned and walked slowly over to Dorsey's car.

"Ready, Eddy?" I asked. He pulled Henry's music out of the dash and plugged in mine.

"All set," he replied, "Oh..." he indicated out my window, where Dorsey was striding over. I pulled on my seatbelt.

Dorsey knocked on the window. I wound it down and she leaned in.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" she hissed, eyes fierce, "Hi Eddy."

"I get the picture," Eddy said, putting his earphones in, and looking away.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh for goodness sake! What do you think?"

I had a fair idea what she was on about, but tonight I was concentrating on driving.

"Come on, Dorsey, I'm tired, let's just keep driving, ok?" I asked.

"Oh! _Now_ you're tired!" she yelled, punching the car door and spinning around. My cheeks burned as I wound up the window.

"Biscuit?" Eddy offered. I didn't bother replying. I jerked the car into drive, punched down the hand brake and slammed on the accelerator. Eddy wisely kept quiet.

I battled to keep to the speed limit, fighting to keep my emotions under control. How could I explain that every time I saw Alex, I thought of Bhaskar? Bhaskar playing ball with him, Bhaskar dozing off leaning on his chest…

_Damn you, Dorsey, just leave me alone_! I thought furiously, pain rising sharp in me at the memories. The speedo needle jerked higher, and I concentrated on breathing, keeping my mind tightly, fiercely, empty. The needle slowly sank back to the speed limit.

Back at camp it wasn't too hard to avoid him, and if I couldn't, it didn't matter if I was incapacitated by grief for a bit. I got adept at finding reasons to run away. But out here it was… difficult. I _had_ to function now, and that meant I had to steer clear of him as much as possible. The past few days cooped up in a hotel room with 5 people had been particularly difficult. But finally I had got the footage uploaded to Jan and we had hit the road again. This was just a short trip, a favour, resupplying a human group. A few nights out and then back, and I was dreading the thought of that hotel room again in a few days.

The landscape became more hilly in the darkness, and I eased the car down the steep roads. Ahead, on the opposite hill, a large truck approached, its lights illuminating the snow all around.

"Gee, that's a big one," Eddy said. We watched mesmerized. It was enormous, taking up most of the road, and lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Isn't it going a bit fast?" Eddy asked uncertainly. We gazed at it hurtling towards us.

"Oh my god," I said under my breath, jerking the steering wheel hard and stamping on the brake. Eddy started screaming as the car spun wildly on the icy road and I fought to control it.

Then there was pain, and blackness.

***

There was nothing but pain at first. I couldn't even place it, it seemed to be everywhere, all around me, all through me. Slowly, I fought it down enough to open my eyes. The snow was a glaring white under the glow of the headlights. There was twisted metal everywhere. I found I was breathing. The pain rose and fell with each breath. I could breath, I could see, I could feel. But I couldn't move. I tried to move my legs and the pain roared through me like a bushfire, devouring consciousness.

"Don't move honey," Dorsey's voice raised me. I tried to turn to look at her, and her hand found my cheek, "Shhh, don't move, ok?"

"Dorsey?" I whispered.

"I'm here, it's ok," she replied, but her voice told me she lied.

"Eddy?" I called.

"He's gone, Flame, he's dead."

I heard sirens faintly.

"Eddy…" I whispered, his loss feeling like a gaping hole beside me. So much death…

"We've taken him away," Dorsey said. This was good, this was right. He should not be buried alone like Bhaskar.

"The truck…" I said faintly, trying to recognize the tortured metal around me.

"The driver's gone too," Henry said. His voice sounded so serious.

"Honey, we can't get you out," Dorsey said, her voice telling me she was crying. The noise of sirens grew louder through the night.

"You have to go now, they'll see you," I whispered, my vision going spotty. Just before I blacked out, I saw Dorsey wrestle Alex away. _They're safe_, I thought, and blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2 Healing

**Healing**

*******

When I opened my eyes, there was a face smiling at me like he had known me all my life. It was a face that looked like it had seen a lot, but hadn't lost its heart.

"Hello Hungry Flame," he said warmly, his silver eyes sparkling. He used my full name without hesitating; I felt instantly comfortable with him. Nobody since Icefire had done that.

"Hi," I said uncertainly, trying not to sound both pleased and confused. Had his hand really been caressing my hair? He drew back a little, resting his elbows on the edge of my bed and his head on his fists, still watching me. I became aware of the rest of the room. Healing Centre. Well that explained why I was alive. He picked up my hand and examined the bruises healing on my wrist and forearm, his touch gentle and warm.

"My name's Falling Smoke," he said, "I'm a Healer." _Obviously_, I thought. "Your healer," he continued, stealing a glance at my face. I was blushing and I had no idea why.

"Okay," I said, looking at his face more closely. Just an ordinary human face. Apart from the eyes. "Do I know you?" I asked finally, perplexed. His smile widened into a grin.

"Apparently not," he said, "but everyone knows you. Quite the intrepid adventurer. Fearlessly goes where no Soul has gone before... and lived to tell the tale," he put his eyebrows in a daring twist and made me laugh. He was referring to the Human Voice Project.

He pulled gently on my arm.

"Sit up?" he asked, and I obliged, swaying a little with the sudden dizziness of being upright. He caught my shoulder and steadied me, then lifted my top and examined my back.

"Leaps humans in a single bound…" he went on.

"Alright, enough!" I protested, unable to wipe the smile off my face. Man, how much No Pain was I on?

He let go of my shoulder and moved down to examine my legs.

"You must have some stories to tell," he said, lips pursed at the bruising still evident on my legs.

"I'm not much of a storyteller," I replied, but his attention was already elsewhere.

"Post surgical bruising is always a challenge," he murmured, "Unavoidable with such traumatic injuries, but still… not my best work," he frowned, and massaged a nasty purple welt, "Can you feel this? Are you in any pain?"

"No," I said.

"You will tell us if the pain breaks through, won't you?" he asked seriously, leaving my legs alone and resting his hand on my arm, "Pain is very bad for the healing process, you know."

I gazed at his warm hand on my arm and wondered if all doctors touched their patients so much. Was it a just Soul thing? Was I hyper sensitive?

"I promise." I said sincerely. He shook his head.

"No, you're one of the strong ones, I can tell. I'll have to check on you _regularly_." He gave me a mock severe look, patted my arm and left me to my burning cheeks.

Of course, as soon as he left, I had a thousand and one questions. I wondered at my thoughtlessness. Healers did not usually have me gazing at them and giggling. I must be on _a lot_ of No Pain.

I lured the next nurse that passed over to me.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but can you tell me how long I've been here?" I asked.

"It's no problem," she said, smiling and checking my chart on a screen by my bed, then twisting it over to me on its long retractable arm.

"You can see here. You came in 2 days ago, brought into emergency, went straight to surgery, 8 hours of surgery – that was Healer Falling Smoke, the surgeon, his work is excellent -"

"Yes, I just met him," I interjected. 2 days! The others would be frantic! Did they even know where I was? That I was alive? Had they left already? I had a sudden fear of being left behind.

"Lovely man, isn't he? Must be the most eligible Soul still single," she laughed at my scandalized expression, "Then you've been here in recovery ever since. Did you just wake up?"

"Uh huh," I said, exploring the computer records, "Thanks for that."

"No problem. Your clothes, well, what's left of them, will be in a bag in the closet there," she said, pointing.

"Ok great," I said, not looking up.

"You rest up and let me know if I can get you anything?"

"Sure." I replied distantly. _Give me back my son_. The thought came unbidden, and I squashed it firmly.

The healing centre's computers were linked to the central network and soon I tracked down the Seeker report for the accident. No mention of humans, good. I thought of Eddy sadly as I downloaded the report to my message file and sent a quick sms to my mobile, letting them know I was alright. _Don't forget_, I typed as if in a memo to myself, _package from Main Healing Centre, slightly damaged_ _but still workable. Will be delivered to hotel_. I added a flame symbol so they would know it was me.

"Now that's quite enough of that," another nurse said, pulling the screen away from me and shutting it down. "You should be resting, not working!"

"Sorry," I said meekly, "I just needed to check the number for my hotel. All my stuff is there. When will I be able to get up?"

"You've only just woken up, dear," she said, adjusting the blinds to cut the blaze of sunlight to a trickle. "We'll need to monitor you for a little while. The final decision will be Healer Falling Smoke's."

"Could I just make one quick phone call then? I need to extend my hotel booking."

"Of course," the nurse said, bringing me a phone, "But quickly please, and then _rest_. If you need some help to get to sleep-"

"No, thank you, that won't be necessary," I pretended to yawn. She stayed by my side, watching me as I called. I extended the booking and handed her back the phone, lying down. Closing my eyes I listened to her leave.


	3. Chapter 3 Walking

**Walking**

***

When I opened my eyes again it was dark outside the window. The evening meal was being brought around, and on its heels, Falling Smoke with some crutches. I pushed myself up slowly into a sitting position, trying to avoid dizziness.

"You're overdue for your No Pain," he said, sitting on the bed, "I take it that means either you're being naughty or I'm an excellent surgeon." He looked sternly in my eyes for any trace of deception.

"It's fine, just a little ache," I said, smiling at him and tucking into the meal.

"Hmm, I'm not sure if I believe you. You Seekers are a tricksy bunch. But the pain certainly hasn't affected your appetite." I looked at him, hurt, and he laughed, resting his hand on my leg.

"No, that's a good thing," he said reassuringly, "Only maybe if you didn't inhale your food our dinner date could last a little longer." I frowned at him, but couldn't make it stick. I was somehow very aware of his hand on my leg. I tried to focus on something else.

"It seems you have plans for afterwards too?" I said, looking at the crutches.

"Oh I have the whole evening planned," he said. Why did I find him charming?

"You've got an answer for everything don't you?" I shook my head.

"Must mean you have all the right questions," he grinned at me. I pushed away my food tray, my stomach unused to a full meal after so long asleep.

"Am I putting you off your food?" he asked, mock hurt.

"Yes," I said. He really did look hurt. "Sorry. I was being sarcastic."

"I diagnose too much time amongst the humans and the No Pain wearing off," he said, unruffled. He examined my legs quickly then handed me the crutches. "Let's see if my handiwork is up to scratch." I gripped the handles and levered myself up, gingerly easing my weight onto my feet. He held my arm lightly, his attention focused on my legs.

"So far so good. Move the joints for me?" he said, kneeling down and putting a hand on each ankle. I obliged. My muscles were weak, but seemed to be working ok. The bones ached distantly.

"Good. Again?" he said, moving his hands to my knees.

"Not bad at all. Can you take a step?" Hesitantly I moved one leg forward, then the other. It was amazing. I had thought my legs were gone in that wreck.

"Care for an evening stroll, my lady?" Falling Smoke asked, holding out an arm. I let out an unconscious breath.

"So this means I'm fixed? I can go home?" I said, ignoring the proffered arm.

"Keen to escape me so soon?" he asked darkly, but his eyes twinkled still. He went on before I could protest. "Tonight you can go to the end of the corridor and back, no further." He put on a German accent "There will be no escapes from this camp."

I laughed, taking a step.

"But it is the sworn duty of all officers to try to escape," I replied, grinning. He looked at me, surprised. The next steps came more fluidly.

"You watch human movies?" he asked.

"_I_ can call it research. What's your excuse?" I countered. He shrugged, grinning.

"Historical interest?"

"The Great Escape? That's pretty far back as movie history goes."

"Horrible, yet strangely compelling," he mused.

"I think you've got a lot of human left in you," I said teasingly. His smile was hard to define.

"You're not exactly the perfect Soul yourself," he said, "The human problem is a hobby of mine. Would you satisfy my curiosity on a point which has bothered me for some time?" Funny how he thought of it as a human problem. The humans thought of it as the Soul problem.

"Shoot."

"Yes captain. Your humans, couldn't we reserve some place for them to live?"

I tried to hold my temper, and concentrated on making my legs take more weight.

"What, like New York?" I asked innocently. He looked shocked.

"New York is a great city! There're millions of Souls that call it home!"

"So where were you thinking then?" I asked. My legs were starting to ache not so distantly, but I persisted.

"Perhaps, somewhere more out of the way?"

"That's where they are now. That's what they aren't happy about. They want to go home, get on with their lives in peace."

"Oh, but…. Oh."

Maybe my great plan hadn't worked so well. The Souls didn't seem to be getting it. But I knew it would take more than a tv show to change things. It would take time. And talking. At least it seemed to have provoked that.

"I never thought of them as really wanting peace," Falling Smoke admitted. "Not really. They seem so violent." My heart rate climbed as I edged down the corridor.

"Everyone wants peace to raise their families." I replied, trying to keep my breathing even.

"I suppose so. You've met them? You think they want peace, don't you?"

"I've met some of them. A lot of them want peace. A lot of them are still very angry too."

"Yes, that must be difficult. Dangerous. How can you trust them not to hurt you? How can a Seeker gain _their_ trust?"

"By not talking to other Souls about things like that?" My breathing was becoming laboured and sweat was sticking my clothes to me. I kept walking.

"I think you must have a cunning plan," he said.

"And I think this conversation has gone far enough!" I gasped, faltering. His arms were round me before I had the chance to fall.

"And I think you've gone far enough for tonight," he said, picking me up and striding back to my bed. What had taken me minutes took him seconds, I notice with chagrin.

"I can't believe how weak I am," I groaned, rubbing at my legs. Falling Smoke administered another dose of No Pain.

"You're lucky to be alive at all," he muttered, "Let alone to have your legs." He smoothed my hair gently. "You're tired, that's all. You've had enough for today."

"And tomorrow is another day." I whispered, sinking into sleep.

He leant in and whispered "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."


	4. Chapter 4 Returning

**Returning**

***

I awoke without a trace of pain, and found the crutches still by my bed. Then I _did_ have a cunning plan: what better way to appropriate medical supplies than wandering round a Healing Centre? No one would look twice at me. I was amazed at how quickly theft had become second nature to me.

I swung my legs over and grabbed the crutches, only to find a nurse grab them and try to pull them back.

"You've had enough exercise for the moment," she said smilingly, "You haven't even had breakfast yet."

"I was just going for a little walk, I need the practice," I said, trying to twist the crutches out of her grip.

"You really ought to rest," she said more firmly.

"I've been resting all night," I said, getting one crutch free and abandoning the other.

"You must stay here!" the nurse entreated.

"What, without a chaperone? It simply isn't done!" Falling Smoke interrupted, entering the fray. I grinned at him.

"Good heavens, man! This is a hospital, not a garden party!" I said.

"Here," he said, turning on my screen and navigating to a folder full of human movies.

"To stop you harassing my men," he added.

"Where did you get these?" I gasped, entranced.

"Don't ask."

"You've been breaking into the old servers!" I said accusingly. He rolled his eyes.

"Are all American officers so ill-mannered?" he asked, "Now you rest this morning and we'll have you up later on." I nodded obediently, unable to argue with his thoughtful face.

"There'll be no escape for the Princess this time...." he whispered to me as he left.

I kept one eye on the movies and the other reading through Soul news for the last few months. Our tv segments were having an impact. It confirmed people's suspicions that the humans were not dying out. It was sparking interest in doing something differently. If people feared the humans, most also had an underlying discomfort with Seeker methods on Earth. This could be our foundation for change.

***

Falling Smoke came back at lunch time for another walking session. My muscles seemed to be remembering how to work, and increasingly I only used the crutches for balance. But he was called to attend a patient and all too soon I was relegated to my bed.

That night he returned again.

"My, aren't you dedicated," I said.

"My place is with you. I go where you go," he intoned.

"You can't go with me forever you know. You'll be stuck here when I make the great escape."

"Then take me with you. I want to see the real India."

I laughed, but he continued.

"Nothing I have been told about these people is correct. I need to see for myself."

"You wish to see the frontier?" I played along.

"Yes sir, before it's gone" he replied. I shook my head smiling. I never knew when he was serious. He did such a good _Dances with Wolves_ impression.

"I hope that won't be the plot line this time around. But it's so similar, isn't it? 'They have been like all the others. They take without asking. Our country is all that we have, and we will fight to keep it'," I quoted.

"I don't understand their obsession with fighting," he said, frowning. I sighed and thought about how to explain.

"I was reading up on human history. That Indigenous history stuff is really interesting, you know?"

He looked at me, interested, waiting for me to go on.

"When the other humans first invaded this country, they took the land. They thought they could because they told themselves that the indigenous people didn't own it. But they didn't understand what ownership meant to those people. Later, they came to study it, and understood some more. They wrote about things that were possessable, that you could own, and things that were unpossessable, that could never be owned by anyone. Land was considered unpossessable, like water and air. No one has a right to keep it from another. No one can. If anything, you are owned by them." I glanced at him. His brow was furrowed, concentrating, but he seemed to be following.

"And then they talked about possessions. Alienable and inalienable possessions. Alienable possessions are things that can be separate from the self. Like food. You own it but you share it around. Then there are inalienable possessions. These are things you can't separate from," I took a breath, "like children." I finished softly. He thought for some time as I swung down the corridor rhythmically.

"You're saying we shouldn't implant the children, aren't you," he said finally.

"For a start, yes," I replied.

"But how will Souls survive here?" he asked.

"To be frank, I have a lot of difficulty seeing a future for the Souls here." I admitted. He thought on this for a while.

"If we could perfect adult implantation, perhaps we could only implant the violent ones. Their people could vote on sending them to us," he said, looking at me hopefully.

"Just the violent ones," I shook my head. "I don't know." We had arrived back at my bed for the third time. He drew up a dose of No Pain and I lay down without a fight.

"Well we don't have to solve all the world's problems tonight," he said gently, "Plenty of time for that later."

I groaned.

"You're never going to let me out of here are you."

"Don't you even think of escaping," he replied warmly, a smile in his voice, but I was asleep before I could reply.

***

The morning was bereft of Falling Smoke, but he ducked in just before lunch, still wearing a surgical cap and booties, and threw me a package. I ripped it open.

"Clothes!" I squealed, "Does this mean I can leave?"

"This afternoon," he said, enjoying my reaction, "I have a surgery scheduled first." I beamed at him. "I'll be baaack," he drawled, Terminator style. _Package to be delivered to hotel this pm_, I messaged quickly.

Later that afternoon I was surprised to find he was driving me back to the hotel personally.

"Well I can see why you were in such a hurry to get here," he said, wrinkling his nose at the spartan motel grounds, bare concrete balconies and steel staircases open to the weather. I wondered at his sarcasm. Maybe the Souls _were_ getting more human.

"There's no place like home?" I suggested, getting out of the car awkwardly with the crutches.

"I've never heard of such bad taste," he said, getting out to help me. "I can't convince you to come back with me?"

"No chance of convincing me of that." I laughed.

"Would you be more convinced if I fell to my knees?" he dropped to his knees and grabbed my hand.

"Turn me loose, you varmint, and get out of here!" I laughed, trying to feel horrified and failing spectacularly. He let go of my hand stood up, grinning.

"Now as a matter of principle you are not to help me to my room," I warned as he followed me to the outdoor stairs, nervously thinking of the humans.

"Yes captain," he smiled, and contented himself to watching me from the base. I arrived at the top out of breath, despairing at my weakness. I put one hand on the doorhandle to my room and turned to him.

"Thank you," I said sincerely, "for everything."

He smiled a little sadly.

"My pleasure. Anytime." He gave the banister a pat and turned to the car. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you."

I pushed open the door and gratefully fell onto the nearest bed.

The door closed by itself and Dorsey immediately fell on me in a hug.

"You're ok!" she said, relief flooding her voice. Alex was lurking in the background. She made way so he could give me a quick hug too.

"I'm fine! Better than fine. It's so good to be out of there!" I said happily, stretching my legs.

"That's incredible," Alex said softly, shaking his head, "I… we thought you were gone."

"I should have been. You should read the accident report. It was nasty." I sat up and emptied my pockets. "But it gave me a chance to get some more supplies, look, this one's for healing arthritis! Edie will love that. Let's see, oh lots of No Pain of course…"

"Was that a Healer driving?" she said, peering through the blinds.

"Yes; _my_ healer," I laughed, but no one seemed to get the joke. Definitely too much No Pain. "He was the surgeon that fixed me up."

"Very considerate of him to drop you off personally," she said. How could I hope to explain to a human about the thoughtless kindness of Souls? They'd never believe me. I wasn't a particularly great example.

"He's just a really nice guy. All the nurses think so."

"Really."

"He's just making sure I'm ok. He's going to come check on me tomorrow too, don't let me forget."

"Do all doctors take such a personal interest in their patients?"

"Um, I don't know," I said, "I suppose so. He's probably just keeping an eye on his handiwork, apparently the surgery was a bit intense." She was still looking out the window thoughtfully.

"It's not like he's checking up on you guys. He doesn't know anything about you. I didn't say a word. He thinks it was just a normal car accident."

She smiled at me and rubbed my arm.

"Oh, hey! Check these out," I turned on the rooms screen and found the movie folder, "Ta-da!".

"Oh man!" Henry crowed, as the other's faces lit up "Movies! Oh my god: Aliens. We _have_ to watch that."

"I don't know," Dorsey said, stealing a glance at me.

"Come on guys!" Henry said, jumping onto the bed and arranging the pillows like a sofa, then throwing himself down. "Dorsey, get the popcorn!" Dorsey gave up and grabbed some chips. In squeezing the four of us onto the bed, somehow I ended up next to Alex. I stuffed some chips in my mouth and tried to concentrate on the movie.


	5. Chapter 5 Checking

**Checking**

***

A knock tapped on the door. I opened it, letting Falling Smoke into what was, to me, a miraculously empty room.

"You're not using the crutches, Hungry Flame," he said darkly, leaning on the door frame.

"Well, hello to you too," I was smiling already. This was getting silly. _Getting_ silly? He walked into the room and I sat on the bed with my legs stretched out. He examined them closely then sat back on his heels.

"See? Fine," I said.

"Promise me you won't overdo it," he said, holding my hand to his chest.

"Not much chance of that. There's not much happening here," I said, gesturing around the bare room.

"Well I'd be happy to take you back-"

"No!" I laughed, rescuing my hand, "Its fine. I get much more work done this way."

"Seeking work or Human Voice work?" he asked, sitting on the other bed.

"They're both the same, really," I said.

"Hunting," he said.

"Exactly," I replied. He noticed the movie icon still on the screen from last night.

"Aliens, huh? Interesting choice."

"Hey, you started it," I replied, grinning.

"Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!" he mimicked, grinning too. I had to laugh. He got it perfect.

"When did you last watch that?" I asked, amazed.

"Well now that would be telling, wouldn't it," he said, then his smile faded, "Is that really how they see us?"

"What, like enormous, intelligent, murdering insects?" I asked. He nodded. "No, they know we're pretty small actually. And there're doubts on the intelligence thing too." He gave a short smile, but his eyes were sad. He got up and made his way to the door.

"You don't sound very hopeful about us," he said sadly, opening the door. I shrugged, tracing the thin pink surgical scars up and down my legs.

"Well, getting some kind of goodwill on either side will be a start," I said. He stood in the doorway, swinging the door back and forth.

"I'd like to help with that if I could," he said, "I don't know what would be acceptable…"

I bit my lip. He stopped swinging the door.

"That's a thinking look," he said, intrigued. I looked away. But could I pass up this opportunity?

"Well, there might be something you have that they'd want," I said finally. He said nothing, but waited for me to continue. I took the plunge.

"Their living conditions are often… basic," I said, "Health is a very precious commodity." He swung the door back and forth a few times. I held my breath.

"You are asking me to steal medicines to help a species that is intent on killing us off?" he asked, but I could see the mischievous glitter in his eye.

"I'm asking you to donate health goods to improve the welfare of… fellow sentient beings," I said diplomatically.

"And our generous hosts to boot," he mused. I cringed and he laughed.

"It's alright, I don't do implantations you know. I'm strictly trauma surgery," he said, "Much better success rate." I watched as his eyes became distant for a moment. He shook his head.

"Alright, I'll do it," he said, sounding a little surprised at himself. We smiled at each other.

"How will I get them to you?" he asked.

"Stockpile them somewhere, a storage place or something. Let me know when you've got a stack and I'll pick them up and distribute them," I grinned, "home delivered good will!"

"How will I contact you?" he asked.

"Oh, sorry," I said, grabbing a pen and casting about for something to write on. I finally grabbed a paper bag, "This is my mobile number, it's the best number to get me on because I'm on the road so much." He read it, folded it carefully, and tucked into a pocket with a smile. He took one last look around the bare room.

"You're sure I can't entice you away from this gorgeous suite?" he asked pitifully.

"I am not going back, and I am... I would not be any good to you if I did" I said.

"Yeah, that's what Ripley said, remember? And look where it got her," he said.

"Ex_actl_y!" I said, and shut the door.

***

As soon as his car pulled away, the bathroom door opened and Dorsey, Alex and Henry spilled into the room.

"He's going to give us supplies?" said Henry, "Excellent!"

"I don't know," said Alex quietly, "how do we know if we can trust him?"

"You don't have to trust him," I replied a little coolly, disappointed he wasn't excited. "He's doesn't know anything that could jeopardize anyone. And he won't. He'll go through me."

Alex shook his head.

"What if they put a tracker in with the supplies?" he asked.

"He's a doctor!" I said, exasperated, "He just wants to help."

"I don't know," Alex muttered, not looking at me.

"We could check the supplies for trackers first," Henry said, "run a radio frequency scanner over them. We'd know soon enough."

"It's an opportunity too good to miss," I continued, "Even if we find a tracker in the first lot, we've still got a whole heap of supplies that are pretty dangerous to come by otherwise." I loved the fact that we wouldn't be stealing them.

"What if it's a trap?" Alex asked, "what if they just wanted to trap you and find out where all the people are?"

"Well they won't find out much will they? I don't _know_ where they are." I said. Alex turned away in frustration.

"Besides, he's had plenty of time to try that when I was in the Healing Centre," I went on, "But he helped me get out of there more quickly. I mean he even drove me home!"

"Maybe he was keeping tabs on you," Alex countered, "Checking up on you."

"He has to check up on me! He's my doctor!"

"How do you know he's a doctor? Maybe he's a Seeker too, and he's been lying to you all this time!"

"You're crazy!" I shouted.

"Hey, guys, keep it down!" Henry said. Alex turned away, jaw rigid, and turned a movie on.

Dorsey meanwhile had been furiously scribbling away on a piece of paper.

"Hey, that's Falling Smoke!" I said, looking at her drawing, "that's pretty good. How did you do that?"

"I was looking through the keyhole," she said distractedly, ""I can't get him out of my mind; he looks familiar."

"Don't tell me another of ours girls has fallen for him," Henry groaned, looking at the picture, "he's too charming for his own good." Alex glanced at the picture darkly and said nothing. I bit my tongue to stop myself defending him again.

"Not that I mind of course," Henry said, stretching out on the bed to watch the movie, "Flame can flirt with every Healer on the east coast if it saves us work, I reckon." Dorsey threw the sketch at him and grabbed the car keys.

"Where are we going?" asked Henry, surprised.

"_We_ are going for a drive," Dorsey said, pulling me out the door. Her face was closed, but I got the feeling she was angry. She got in the driver's seat.

"Shouldn't I be driving?" I asked.

"Are you kidding? After how you totaled the last car? We can swap if we get pulled over. Besides, you're supposed to be resting."

I got in the passenger seat and we drove off into the snowy night.

"You have got to do something about this Alex thing," she said after a while. I sighed. Trapped.

"You know what he thinks, don't you? He thinks you don't like him anymore because he couldn't protect you in that cave after the fire," she said. I groaned.

"That's ridiculous! He saved my life! Actually, lots of times. Ok so the first time it was because he'd fractured my skull, but…"

"And now there's this Falling Smoke guy? What's going on with _him_?"

"Nothing's going on with him," I said defensively.

"Well you might want to tell Alex that!"

"I didn't come here to get yelled at."

"Sorry," she breathed deeply. "But can't you see you're breaking his heart?" I looked out the window.

"I didn't think Souls were supposed to be cruel," she said. What answer was there for that?

"What's going on, Flame?" she asked softly.

I didn't know what to say.

"With Alex… it's complicated." I sighed.

"You guys have got a lot of history. I know it's hard, but just don't… don't throw that all away."

That was the problem though – _too much history_. He was integral to too many painful memories. Falling Smoke was just a surgeon. He was uncomplicated, refreshing, and anaesthetized anything painful as soon as he suspected it. Alex _caused_ me pain.

"Ok?" Dorsey asked, looking at me worriedly. I nodded unhappily.

"And cut him some slack. Would it kill you to be civil to him?" _Maybe_, I thought.

"Well anyway, next trip he's in your car. Having him moping around like a wet dog in mine is driving me _nuts_." She pulled up outside a store.

"Why have we stopped?"

"Because you are going to get me some ice cream," she declared.

***

I bought ice cream for everyone and we finished watching the movie together, sitting side by side on the bed. Somehow Alex's arm was around my shoulders. I tensed, but tolerated it to please Dorsey. Then his hand was smoothing the hair off my neck.

"Ha!" he shouted, trying to grab me by the back of the neck. I twisted away and lept off the bed, facing him warily. The others looked at us, shocked.

"Alex," Dorsey said slowly, "What's going on?"

"He's a liar!" he hissed, furious.

"Please explain, bro?" Henry asked.

"The scar of the back of her neck, the implantation one," he said through clenched teeth, "it's shiny and new."

"What?!" I gasped, my hand flying to my neck. Dorsey ran to check.

"He's right," she whispered, staring at me in shock.


	6. Chapter 6

**Testing**

***

"Call him," Alex said firmly, handing me the phone. I took the phone with shaking hands.

"What do I say?" I asked. I felt sick to the stomach. What had they done to me? If Falling Smoke had lied, then he must be a Seeker, and Alex had been right all along. He had fooled me into thinking he was a Healer, examining my legs… I shivered harder.

"Get him to come here. Alone. Can you do that?" Alex said quietly. I nodded, but my hands were shaking so hard I stuffed up the number. I passed Dorsey the phone and the number. She handed it back to me when it was ringing.

I had had a terrible night, shivering endlessly though Dorsey held me tight throughout. I watched the others sleep, Alex's familiar bulk silhouetted against the moonlight like a boulder. A small part of me remembered the warmth of his arms and wondered if they wouldn't be better at stopping my shivering than Dorsey's slender limbs. But the safest course seemed to be to lie still and try not to think at all. Night was a bad time to make decisions. The light of day always made these things better.

But now, in the pale light of morning, I found everything exactly the same. I had been taken out and re-inserted and I had no idea how long for, or what had happened to my body in the mean time. What if a Seeker had taken the opportunity to look through my memories? What if Dorsey's camp was endangered?

A voice finally broke through the endless ringing, and the reception desk patched me through to Falling Smoke.

"Hungry Flame?" I heard his voice.

"Hi, I uh, I was wandering if you could come over sometime today? I uh, I think I overdid it."

"Of course. Are you ok? You sound terrible! Can I bring you anything?"

"I'm alright," I whispered, not very convincingly.

"I'll be right over."

"Ok," I said and hung up. "He's coming over now." The others rushed to tidy up the room. I grabbed Dorsey's hands.

"I don't want to be alone with him," I whispered.

"Oh honey," she said unhappily, giving me a hug, and glancing at Alex, "We'll be right here, okay?" I nodded forlornly and they disappeared into the bathroom.

***

The knock on the door made me flinch. I swallowed my fear.

"It's open," I called. Falling Smoke came straight in, all concern.

"Oh my god, you look awful," he said, grabbing his stethoscope, "What happened?"

"Please don't touch me," I said, shying away from him.

"Hungry Flame, what's wrong," he said seriously.

I pulled the hair away from my neck and showed him the new scar, unable to speak.

"It looks ok," he said, puzzled, "Does it hurt?"

"You said you didn't do implantations," I said in a freezing voice.

"It's standard procedure. We didn't know if your body would make it. We take out the Souls for safe keeping, just in case. Surely you can understand that?"

"You said you didn't do implantations!"

"I don't! Only in an emergency. I didn't do yours, I was flat out with rest of you. I can find out who did, if you like?"

I searched his eyes, but there was no trace of deception, and mine filled with tears and I looked away.

"Why did no one tell me?"

"We didn't know you'd be upset. Is that what you're upset about? That you were taken out and reinserted?" I couldn't answer.

"It was done to safeguard your life," he continued, trying to get me to meet his eyes again, "As soon as your body was stable you were reinserted. It's all in the medical records. Do you… do you feel different?"

"No," I shook my head. He sat down on the bed opposite. He steepled his fingers and rested them on his lip. I sniffed my tears away. He handed me a tissue.

"I have seen a few cases where the human mind… remained after insertion. Some times for quite some time. The reason I see them is because sometimes they do strange things and get hurt. Drownings. Falls. Car accidents."

I looked at him sharply.

"You think I'm like that?" I asked in surprise.

"I don't know," he replied, "I read your medical record. It said you had no human memories. That's odd, don't you think?"

I didn't answer.

"It's understandable, given the circumstances in which the body was found… I only ask because-"

"I can put your mind at ease," I said, "I've never felt the slightest trace of my host. If I had, I would have done something about it." He looked into my eyes for a long moment then nodded.

"Are you sure you're ok then?" he asked, concern softening his voice. I nodded a little awkwardly. How quickly I had thought the worst of him, and he was only ever trying to be nice.

"I'm sorry to call you out, I just got a fright," I said in a small voice.

"It's no problem. Call me anytime you want, ok? I guess we rushed you out of there a bit quick. I should have sat down and gone through your surgery with you. I'm sorry to have given you a fright."

I managed a small smile. He patted my knee and went to the door.

"Those others, the ones who don't… fade," he said, his face troubled, "They're the reason I don't do implantations. I don't want to see another one in the emergency room." He paused.

"I'll let you rest," he finished, closed the door, and left.

"You believe him?" Dorsey asked, sitting next to me and putting her arms around me. I nodded.

"It makes sense," I said, "I guess I was pretty far gone. I should have read the stupid report." I managed a small shamefaced smile. The others looked at each other, and I read uncertainty in their eyes.

"Guys, he's a Soul, he's not going to lie to me," I said softly. When would they understand that Souls were not devious? Why couldn't they trust my word on it? Dorsey rubbed my shoulder.

"Alright, honey," she murmured, but Alex was shaking his head, the movement so small it was almost an afterthought.

***

My replacement car arrived that afternoon, so we left that night. True to her word, Dorsey commandeered Henry and left Alex to me. We drove in silence.

"I'm sorry about that scar business," he said finally.

"It's not your fault," I sighed. The headlights swept over the unending snow.

"So you trust this Healer guy?" he said, his face unreadable.

"I guess so," I answered uncertainly, "I don't know. Part of me doesn't want to trust him. I mean, he's a Soul, right?"

"And the other part of you?" he asked.

"The other part… just does," I replied.

"You know these people better than we do. We should trust your judgment," he said.

I shook my head.

"I don't see everything. I've only got one perspective. I need your perspectives too."

"We're a team right?" I shot a small smile over to him. But an image of Bhask flashed in my mind and I had to turn away.

"Right," he answered softly.

***

The first few groups we visited were new to Alex, and so we spent several weeks gaining their trust, waiting for them to make a decision, and gathering footage. Henry and Dorsey took it in turns camping with me while the others did the filming. The camps were remote, and when we got back into mobile range and my phone began to beep. I listened to the message and pulled over, waiting for the other car.

"It's Falling Smoke," I said, as they joined us, "He's got some medicines for us." We exchanged uncertain glances.


	7. Chapter 7

**Taking sides**

*******

"I'm coming with you," Alex said. He lay down in the rear foot well straight away. I bit my lip, thinking of protesting. But the truth was, I felt safer with him there. And I knew I could trust him to keep out of sight. I got into the driver's seat silently.

The address was for a warehouse in a storage complex, deserted in the bare moonlight. The entrance was open so I drove in, the structure swallowing the car like a mint. I got out, staring around me in astonishment. There was pallet after pallet of medications, bandages, fluid bags, everything you could think of.

"Wow," I said under my breath.

"Not a bad little collection?" Falling Smoke said, emerging from the shadows.

"How did you do this?" I asked.

"All kind donations for a terrible earthquake in Guatemala," he said sorrowfully. But a smile played about his lips.

"You can't steal supplies from a natural disaster area!" I said, shocked. He grinned.

"Actually Guatemala has a great health care system already operational," he admitted, "They'll be puzzled as to why we're sending them anything at all."

I was doubly shocked.

"You _lied_?!" I said. He laughed.

"No there really was an earthquake, a small one anyway. Big enough to make the news. I am just redirecting people's sympathy to a more worthy cause." I was dumbfounded.

"You don't disappoint, Dr. Jones," I said softly. He blushed.

"Well I can't have my brand-new fixed-up patient going empty handed into the jaws of evil" he said.

"I'm not exactly defenceless you know," I looked at him shrewdly.

"You wouldn't have a chance against a wild human," he said. I raised my eyebrows.

"Alright then, try me," I said. He grinned.

"Now I'll just walk along here, all unsuspecting, and you come up and try and grab me," I instructed. I dawdled along innocently with my back to him. I felt his hands grab me and I flipped him lightly onto the concrete.

Suddenly Alex was running towards me, gun aimed at Falling Smoke.

"Alex! What are you doing?" I hissed, glaring. He looked back and forth between us as I helped Falling Smoke to his feet. He lowered the gun slowly.

"I thought… I thought he was attacking you," he said. I hit my head with the heel of my palm and turned away, choking on my anger. A human, running out into plain view in the middle of a Soul city. He was unbelievable. And I thought he was supposed to be the careful one.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Falling Smoke said.

"Alex, Falling Smoke. Falling Smoke, Alex. A _wild_ human," I muttered. Falling Smoke held out his hand, and Alex put up the gun and shook it.

"So this is your secret weapon," Falling Smoke said appraisingly.

"Quite a store you've amassed here," Alex said grudgingly, looking around in amazement, "It's good to know some Souls are on our side."

"Well I don't know about that," Falling Smoke said. Alex narrowed his eyes.

"If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem," Alex said rigidly.

"Alex!" I hissed. Great, get our only legitimate source of supplies offside on the first meeting. Well, semi-legitimate anyway. I pulled the gun off him.

"Well I'd certainly like to be part of _a_ solution," Falling Smoke said evenly, "a peaceful solution that is."

"The supplies are great, but otherwise we're doing just fine without your help thanks," Alex said, frowning.

"Maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but you've been getting your asses kicked," Falling Smoke said. Alex look stunned to hear such language from a Soul. Then he was smiling despite himself.

"I don't know how a good law-abiding Soul such as yourself could be of any use to us," Alex said.

"I feel like I'm being seduced by the dark side of the Force," he said, glancing at me. I snorted.

"Oh you got there _ages_ ago." I said, grabbing some trays of medicines and shoving them at Alex.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing," he replied.

"We'll let you know if we think of something," Alex said, thoughtfully.

"I'm at your service," Falling Smoke said graciously.

"I don't want to rain on your parade, but we've gotta to get going," I said, grabbing a tray myself and pulling Alex to the car. "I'll come back with a truck later," I called over my shoulder.

We drove off leaving Falling Smoke standing alone in the lamp lit warehouse.

***

I was too angry to speak. Luckily, Dorsey was doing all the yelling for me.

"You let him see you?" she yelled at Alex.

"Well, yes…" Alex said.

"You let him know that Flame goes around with a wild human, of her own free will?"

"Uh-"

She smacked him.

"If he tells anyone, you'll have every Seeker in town tracking her down!"

"I don't think he'd tell anyone…"

"Really. The other day you were convinced he was a Seeker himself!"

"Well…"

She smacked him again. I grabbed her hand and held it.

"He's hardly going to tell on his favourite little patient, is he?" Alex said, his eyes narrowed in dislike. Dorsey stared at him, open mouthed.

"You are _unbelievable_."

"Ok let's get a grip on the damage," Henry said.

"I don't think there is any," Alex said, "Ok, so he knows about me, but he must know Flame was working with people somehow. It just puts a face to the concept."

"Ok, and we've still got the goods…" Henry said.

"Plus he's offered to help out more if he can," Alex said grudgingly.

"Oh, anything to be with his sweetheart," Henry said, fluttering his eyes at me.

Dorsey threw the keys at him and Alex caught them, surprised.

"What, you think I'm driving you around after that little stunt? You can drive yourself, mister," she said, and stalked off into my car.


	8. Chapter 8 driving

**Driving**

*******

I had been driving for some hours with Dorsey uncharacteristically quiet beside me.

"So let me get this straight," Dorsey said finally, "Alex saw the need to pull a gun on Dr Burke back there because you two were engaged in some sort of… wrestling?" She made it sound dirty.

"I was teaching him self defence," I said, teeth gritted.

"I'll bet you were," Dorsey said, eye brows raised.

"_Dorsey_!"

"I'm just saying it seems a funny time to be fooling around with a guy-"

"We weren't _fooling around_," I muttered. She gave me a look, eyebrows rising higher.

"Ok, joking around maybe," I admitted.

"Yeah, well you used to joke around with Alex," she said, "Nowadays you're like the U.N. or something. After you, no after you, please I insist…"

"You told me to be civil!" I protested. She sighed.

"I just want to know you feel about them," she said, "Do you even know?"

"What do you mean?" I said guardedly.

"Tell me about Alex," she said, turning to face me and propping her leg underneath her.

"What about him?"

"What's he like?"

"Well, he's, well, he's… Alex." I grimaced and tried again.

"He, um, he's a good person. And… uh… he's funny… sometimes… and he can run fast…"

"Flame!"

"Oh I don't know! I just like him, not because he does anything in particular, just because he's… him."

"So you admit you like him."

"Yes, of course."

"Ok now tell me about Falling Smoke."

"Well, he's nice. And funny. Well, maybe not that funny. Maybe it's soul humour… but that's the thing, he's such an interesting mix of human and soul. He's curious, intelligent, and he understands about Soul stuff, I can talk to him and I don't have to worry about him getting hurt or offended or… I don't know. I can just sort of be myself, I don't have to watch myself like when I'm talking to humans."

Dorsey groaned.

"Please, please, _please_, promise me you will never tell Alex that?"

"Why not?"

"You know he had this crazy idea when he came back from the fire, that you weren't going to come back?"

"What?"

"He figured with Bhask gone, you didn't really have a reason to come back, and you'd just stay with the Souls." I was shocked.

"You're not serious."

"You know he still thinks that? Especially when he sees you and Dr Burke there getting on like a house on fire-"

"Dorsey!"

"Well it's true. Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't have any Soul friends. You've just got to sort out this thing with Alex!"

***

We drove out of the snow line through thick forests. We were revisiting a group that had wanted more thinking time last time we visited. We had received a message that they wanted to talk now.

We arrived at my campsite in the early morning when it was still bitterly cold. I remembered camping here with Bhaskar in the spring while Alex made contact. I set up the tent slowly, lost in memories. Bhaskar unthinkably high up a tree, peering into a birds nest. Bhaskar lying in the grass in the sunshine… The memories hit me like body blows.

Dorsey wanted to stay with me at the campsite, leave the boys to do the filming.

"The humans are the ones that invited us here, remember? I don't think we have to worry about them," I said. Dorsey's eyes still watched me unhappily. I rubbed her arm, "I'm fine."

"You _always_ say that, and you _never_ are," Dorsey muttered, but pulled on her pack and followed the boys into the trees.

And, as it turned out, she was right.


	9. Chapter 9 enduring

**Enduring**

*******

The day passed uneventfully, no sound but the invisible insects, birds and breaths of wind passing through the silent trees surrounding the camp. I slept alone in the tent that night.

I woke up in darkness to find a gun pressed to my head and a torch in my eyes.

"Easy now, sweetheart," a deadpan voice whispered in my ear. I clamped my eyes shut against the painfully bright light, but even my eyelids could not shade its glare. A hand pulled on my shoulder, making me sit up. My hands were tied behind my back.

"There's been some mistake," I whispered frantically. A backhand slap silenced me.

"You don't speak, unless you're asked, got it?" the voice said. I nodded in confusion. Who were these people? Were they from a different group than the ones the others were visiting? Were they having some kind of turf war? Why was I still alive?

They pulled me out of the tent and the torch dropped away. I blinked furiously to get some night vision.

"Alex!" I said before I could stop myself. Another slap came instantly. Stimulus, response, I thought dizzily. But at least I had seen them. Alex, Dorsey, and Henry.

"I don't like having to repeat myself," a man growled. He was grizzled, bearded and lean. I looked at the ground and tried not to draw attention to myself.

"Let her go, Foreks," Alex said slowly.

"Oh I don't think so," Foreks said, "We thought it would be handy to have our own pet Soul. You brought her to us on a platter. Ask and you shall receive! And you'll do exactly what we want, won't you honey," he lifted my chin and made me look in his eyes. Alex struggled and was punched hard in the gut. He sank to his knees, struggling to breathe. My chin trembled.

"I think maybe we'll keep them around guys, looks like they could come in handy," Forex said, grinning at me, "remember sweetheart, you do anything we aren't happy about; one of them gets it." I pulled my head out of his grip and looked at the ground so he wouldn't see my tears.

"She'll be sweet as pie, I reckon boys," He said, "bring 'em all." A rough blindfold was tied around my eyes and we were led off into the forest.

***

They kept me tied up, away from the others, alone apart from a constant guard. No one spoke to me, and no one took off the blindfold or untied my hands. I had to piece together my world from what I could hear, smell, feel. I tried to remind myself it was only one sense they had taken away, and Burning Lights seemed to have done fine without it. _She had Falling Snow_, a lonely thought reminded me. I squashed it forcefully. My body should be good at this anyway, I thought. I tried to gather myself and focus.

Hard ground. Dirt, hard packed. No wall in surreptitious leaning distance, but some kind of enclosed space. It was less cold. No feel of wind. But there was the sound of the wind, outside. Low voices, Someone whistling, distant tinkling noises. It was infuriating, not just being able to quickly glance and _know_.

I tensed hearing footsteps coming towards me on the hard ground.

"Hi Janey," The guard said, bored.

"Hi Turk," a woman's voice replied softly. I sensed her kneel beside me, and there was a mouth watering smell of hot soup.

"I'm going to untie your hands if you promise not to try and take off your blindfold, ok?" Janey's voice said stiffly. I nodded. Her hands worked at my ties then my wrists were released. I stretched hesitantly, rolling my aching shoulders and rubbing at my wrists. She waited til I was done then put a warm bowl in my hands.

"It's soup," she said, "We're supposed to keep you strong. Drink it." I drank it slowly to keep my hands untied as long as possible. There was dislike in her voice, and possibly fear. I stored this knowledge for future use.

She retied my hands in front of me and left without a word. I pulled my knees to my chest and put my head down, concentrating on listening.

There were still voices talking, distantly. Maybe a few less now. Night insects trilling, surprisingly close. That whistling again; a different tune this time.

I concentrated on some voices coming from my right.

"That girl's a bit of alright, isn't she?" Two sets of footsteps.

"Oh mate, don't even think about it. Johnno tried to give her a cuddle; she bit him and those other two kicked him!" They laughed and their voices grew soft as they kept moving off to the left. I was horrified. _Dorsey_! I pushed away my emotions and concentrated fiercely on what the sounds could tell me. Ok, so the others were somewhere to the right. The distant voices subsided, until they could not be heard. Occasionally a night insect sounded. A frog croaked. I could hear the slow breathing of the guard. His clothing rubbing on itself as he shifted slightly. My head became heavier on my knees, and I slept.

I woke up to more voices, footsteps moving about. There were more insects sounding, and the chill was gone from the air. It must be daytime. I had fallen onto my side while I slept, my arms still tied in front of my folded legs. I eased my legs straight, wriggled my feet a little. The guard made no hearable reaction.

The people outside were talking about some new stuff they'd got. They'd been stripping my camp and car, bringing back the useful stuff. Which was pretty much everything.

Janey came to give me water once or twice, and a bowl in which to relieve myself. There was a different guard during the day. Foreks looked in on me once, asking the guard if there'd been any trouble. The guard said no, and he grunted and left. The afternoon was still, and almost warm, and with nothing to keep me awake but worry. I pushed these thoughts firmly out of my mind and fell asleep again.

***

There were no voices and no whistling when I awoke. Just the lonely sound of night crickets.

"Hi Turk," Janey's voice said, approaching. There was no response from Turk. He must be asleep. Now was my chance.

The warm bowl was pushed into my hands; I grabbed it and threw its contents in the direction of Janey's face. I heard her gasp as I headbutted forward, ripping off my blindfold and shoving it into her mouth. She was still dazed as I tied her tightly with my belt, fumbling with my wrists still tied, watching Turk snore, glancing all around me. I was in some kind of rough hut, an open doorway in front. Outside, other huts, covered in turf, were arranging higgledy-piggledly amongst the trees. I dumped Janey further back in the dark woods, thinking furiously. I couldn't just look into every hut, I would be seen for sure. I needed some way to find out where they were, some kind of signal they would recognize, but no one else would notice. I made my way closer to the huts and set off to the right slowly. The whistling! No one would notice that. I had to think of a song I could whistle that they would recognize. Henry's music was no good, heavy metal and techno beats. Dorsey's dancing music couldn't be whistled either. Then I thought of the song I had taught Dorsey that winter when Bhask was sick. I licked my lips and began to whistle, continuing along to the right, eyes alert to any movement, ears straining for a reply.

"Can it, Mike!" a voice groaned from inside a hut. I cleared my throat, walked past a few more huts, and started up again. I had almost come to the end of the huts when I heard a strangled attempt at a whistled reply. I ran soundlessly towards it. I could see three forms in the shadows on the back wall through the hut's open door. Alex, Dorsey, and Henry. But where was the guard? Then I saw Dorsey's wide eyes flicking repetitively to the left. I formed my hand into the shape of a gun. She gave a very small nod. I took out Janey's torch and took a deep breath. I turned it on and jumped inside the doorway, finding the guards eyes with the beam and keeping it there.

"Shut up and drop your weapon," I hissed in a whisper, "I will not hesitate to shoot." Henry grabbed the torch off me and brained the guard with it. He sank to a heap on the ground. Henry grabbed his gun with both hands. Dorsey ran into me in a no armed hug. Their hands were still tied too.

"Come on," she whispered, making for the forest.

"What about our hands?" I hissed after her, close on her heels.

"No time!" We sprinted through the forest, Alex leading the way.

The car was still where we had left it.

"We haven't got the keys!" I gasped, elbows on my knees. Alex has breathing hard too, slumped on his knees in the grass.

"No problem. Henry?" Dorsey panted, working away at loosening the rope binding his wrists. Finally it was loose enough for him to twist free.

"My pleasure," Henry said, shimmying the door unlocked somehow with a stick, ripping out some wires and touching two together. The engine purred into life.

"You beauty!" Henry crowed softly, unlocking all our doors and putting the car in gear.


	10. Chapter 10 relocating

**Relocating**

*******

I sat back, trying to catch my breath as Dorsey teased at my ropes. The car was flying down the highway. We were free! I sucked in the wonderful air of a freed person, feeling my lungs lighten with discarded confinement at every breath. Dorsey started giggling and then was laughing so hard she collapsed in my lap.

"I can't whistle!" she gasped. "I knew it was you, that song? But I couldn't, I can't…" her laughter obliterated her words.

"That guard was giving you the funniest looks!" Henry grinned, sending Dorsey off anew. I smiled ruefully and pulled her hands closer to start work on her ropes while she was incapacitated.

"And what was that with the torch?" Henry groaned, "You didn't think he'd just believe you had a gun, did you?" Dorsey convulsed helplessly. Her ropes were easing through their knots. Soon she could pull free off them and I rubbed at her wrists. I noticed Alex was very quiet.

"Alex?" I asked, "you want to give me your wrists for a second?" He twisted around and rested his wrists between the two front seats. I caught sight of his face.

"Alex!" I gasped, horrified. It was deformed by swellings and bruises. Dorsey quietened down.

"Alex didn't take too kindly to captivity," Henry explained, "Had some fool idea if he was persistent enough they'd let him go."

"He can't speak," Dorsey said softly, "I think there's something wrong with his jaw."

"We have got to get him to a doctor," I said, rummaging around looking for the phone, but the car had been thoroughly stripped. "All our stuff is gone!" I groaned in frustration, "Just drive to the Healing Centre."

"Flame, that's way too risky!" Dorsey said and Alex grunted, shaking his head.

"Our good doctor makes house calls, remember?" Henry said.

"Well call him from the hotel phone then," Dorsey said, "you can't go into a hospital looking like that, they'll never let you leave!"

I traced the bruises round my mouth.

"Fine," I said.

***

When we pulled up outside a hotel I was driving an apparently empty car. It was late and the night receptionist was tired.

"I'm very sorry to bother you so late," I said, hand covering my mouth, "But I wonder if you might have a room? I think I might be coming down with the flu and I just don't think it would be safe to drive any further tonight." I coughed a little for added effect. We were in their last empty room in no time. I was on the phone to the hospital before our door was shut.

"Can you do me a favour?" I asked without introductions as soon I was put through. "I need a doctor's visit."

"Uh, yes… I'm off in an hour and a half," Falling Smoke said. The background sounded busy, lots of people talking.

"An _hour_ and a _half_?" I whirled and looked at Dorsey, stricken: Alex would be in pain for too long. But Alex touched my arm and nodded.

"Ok fine," I gave him the address of the hotel.

"Have you got your No Pain?" Falling Smoke asked before I could hang up.

"Uh, no," I replied, grimacing.

"Can I ask why?"

"Uh, not really," I replied testily, "We don't have anything."

"Oh, that's ok then. So long as you're not running a blackmarket No Pain smuggling operation, I can rest easy," he said. The background noise quietened considerably. I cringed.

"You've got an audience?" I whispered.

"Don't worry, they're used to my warped sense of humour," he replied easily, and sure enough the back ground noise was back to previous levels.

"See you soon," he said, and hung up.

"Guys, we've got a problem," Henry said softly, face serious, finger on his lips. We gathered closer. Dorsey turned the screen on to a television channel.

"The adjoining room has people in it," Henry whispered, "and the bathroom is _shared_."

"We can't stay here," Dorsey said, aghast, "we'll have to change rooms."

"We can't," I said, feeling my stomach falling, "this was the last one." We looked around each other's tense and exhausted faces.

"We'll have to go to the valley camp," I said finally. "It's closest, there's no humans there, there won't be any snow… You guys take the car and set up camp, I'll stay here and bring Falling Smoke."

"What camp?" Henry said.

"Ok," I said, thinking furiously, "Ok, we need a camp."

"No we don't," said Dorsey, handing me the phone "Call him back and give him the directions. Just meet him there in the car. He doesn't need to know whether we do or don't have a camp." I paced, listening to the ringing tone.

"You guys will stay low though, right? He's doesn't need to know about _every_body," I said. Dorsey and Henry rolled their eyes at each other.

"We're not as thick as some," Dorsey said. Alex didn't even react. That was a bad sign.

Falling Smoke had already gone into surgery, so I left the directions with his secretary.

An hour later, his car was pulling into the campsite, his headlights arcing round and crossing mine.

"We meet again," he said, then he saw my bruises.

"No, that's not the problem," I said, grabbing his hands from my face and pulling him round to the back of the car where Alex was lying in the rear section.

"How did this happen?" he asked quietly, examining his face.

"Disagreement?" I ventured, chewing my lip. Falling Smoke immediately gave Alex a dose of No Pain. I felt myself relaxing as the tension eased out of Alex's body.

"I need to scan his jaw," Falling Smoke said. Alex lifted his shirt, exposing deep purple bruising on his side. Falling Smoke's face tensed. "I'll have to take him in."

"Ok," I replied. Dorsey came barreling out of the bushes.

"No, not ok!" she said.

"_Dorsey_!"

"_No_, Flame!" she said between clenched teeth.

"You're supposed to keep hidden! Why can't you keep quiet for a second!" I said, exasperated.

"Because _you _can't be trusted alone with him," she said, gesturing at Falling Smoke.

I dragged her a few footsteps away and lowered my voice.

"You can not take him into the city," Dorsey hissed.

"He needs proper medical attention," I hissed back.

"He _has _proper medical attention," she replied.

"I can pretend I've just caught him, he fell down some rocks or something…"

"Yeah, on his face?"

"We can make it looked like he escaped. Or died. We can make it work," I insisted.

"And what, you'd just leave us out here, no gun, no food, hell we don't even have a tent!" Dorsey said.

"I promise I'll go get some more gear as soon as the shops open," I said, as inside I screamed for sleep.

"You could stay at my place," Falling Smoke offered neutrally.

"Would you keep out of this?" Dorsey snapped. Henry popped out the bushes.

"We are not going to his place," he said firmly.

"Look at him, guys, he's been through hell-" I started.

"No you look at him, Flame; he's not in any pain, he'd quite happily sleep in the car, and he's _safe_," Dorsey said. I bit my lip unconsciously. There was a pop, and a grunt from Alex.

"What did you do?" Dorsey demanded.

"His jaw was dislocated, I popped it back in. It's the sort of thing that shouldn't wait," Falling Smoke said. Alex was rubbing his jaw, opening and closing his mouth. He smiled tentatively at us.

"That's better," he whispered.

Dorsey and I both went to hug him at once, but Falling Smoke held us back.

"Please don't squeeze the patient," he remonstrated.

"Alex, how do you feel?" Dorsey asked.

"Ok," he whispered, "considering."

"Falling Smoke wants to take you into the hospital," Dorsey continued. Alex shook his head.

"No," he said, "I'll be alright." I opened my mouth to argue. But combined glares from Dorsey and Henry made me shut it. I couldn't _make_ Alex go against his will. And certainly not against everyone's will. And he wasn't in pain… I looked at him, chewing my lip.

"Alright, let's get some sleep then," Henry said. We made Alex comfortable in the car, and found ourselves places on the ground. Falling Smoke settled down beside me, sitting with his arms around his knees.

"You're staying?" I said, yawning. He nodded.

"Until I can get a scan done, I want to keep an eye on him," he said. I smiled, closing my eyes.

"You really came out here, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night, alone, to a person you've met about 3 times that you know associates with humans?" I said, shaking my head, "That's pretty amazing."

"I'm a pretty amazing kinda guy."

"We should take it turns keeping watch," Henry said. We all agreed, then were asleep in seconds.

***

The noise of a car engine and tires crunching gravel roused me.

"It's just me," Falling Smoke called softly, getting of the car and opening the boot.

I blinked in the strong sunlight, trying to get my bearings. The small-leafed bushes all but surrounded us, shaded us from prying eyes, the sky floated bright and endless above. _Safe_, I thought. _Free_.

"Made a little trip into town," Falling Smoke went on. He pulled out shopping bags, packs, and blankets out of the boot and threw them over to us.

"Food!" Dorsey said. We grinned at each other and started ripping open packaging.

"Some great bloody guards we'd make," Henry grumbled, grabbing some food, "Didn't even hear you leave."

Falling Smoke tossed me a gun. I caught it, but it was strangely light.

"Where did you get that?" Dorsey asked in amazement. I laughed.

"It's not real!" I said, grinning at Falling Smoke.

"Sure looks real," Henry said, coming over to look at it closer.

"It's a kid's toy," I said, my eyes glowing, "I didn't even think they made these anymore."

"They don't," Falling Smoke said, "It's an antique."

Falling Smoke took some water over to Alex in the car.

"No chips for me?" Alex whispered, sitting up and wincing.

"Not while your belly looks like that," Falling smoke said grimly. Alex pulled up his top; the purple colour had spread along one side. I looked at Dorsey in shock.

"What does that mean?" Henry asked.

"He might be bleeding internally," Falling Smoke said.

"That's serious isn't it?" Henry said. Falling Smoke shrugged.

"It doesn't have to be," Falling Smoke replied, "But sometimes, yeah."

"Ok, now you guys have got to let us take him in," I said firmly, "We can do this. You'll have the gun-" I couldn't hold in a giggle.

"Two guns actually," Henry said, retrieving the guard's shot gun from under a car seat.

"You'll never get in and out without someone noticing," Dorsey said, but her eyes were uncertain, staring at Alex's stomach.

"I can get us in and out," Falling Smoke said. There was a skeptical silence from the others.

"You don't need to see his identification." Falling Smoke intoned, waving his hand mystically.

"We don't need to see his identification," I replied dreamily.

"These aren't the humans you're looking for," he went on.

"These aren't the humans we're looking for," I continued.

"Would you guys _quit it_!" Dorsey said through clenched teeth.

"The force is strong within you," Falling Smoke whispered to me.

"This is serious! It's not like you can just wheel him in like a Soul patient-" Dorsey said.

"Maybe we can," Henry mused.

"What?" Dorsey said incredulously.

"Flame can pull that trick she did when she got Alex out of Seeker Headquarters." Henry said. Falling Smoke looked at me questioningly.

"I put him on a gurney and wheeled him out like a dead body," I said self consciously.

"You 'knocked me out' with breath freshener first," Alex said. I grinned despite myself. It had been so crazily easy. But I also never wanted to have to try it again.

"You can't just go wheel a 'dead body' round a hospital," Dorsey said, "Why would you be scanning a dead body? Besides, they just need one look at his eyes and he's gone!"

"So we make sure he can't open his eyes," Falling Smoke said, "I believe I have something stronger than breath freshener."

"You'd anaesthetize him?" Dorsey asked.

"That could work," Henry said. Alex was nodding. Dorsey gave up. She took my hands in hers.

"Promise me you'll bring him back," she asked me.

"Dorsey," I said, "do you even have to ask?"


	11. Chapter 11 visiting

**Visiting**

*******

We had pulled up in an empty loading area while Falling Smoke went to get a gurney. The grey concrete walls with their garble of painted symbols stood guard between the hive of souls inside and us, sheltering in the dark, quiet space.

"Flame," Alex said, "I'm sorry for having gotten you stuck in all this mess."

"Hey, it's not your fault," I said, rubbing his arm.

"I was the one that believed them. I led you all there," he continued.

"Anyone one of us would have done exactly the same," I reasoned. He shook his head.

"I could have gotten you killed," he said softly.

"Shh," I said, "Don't talk like that. We're a team remember?" This time I could hold his eyes, and it was him that looked away.

"If anything goes wrong in there, you have to promise me," he said, "Promise me, you'll kill me, rather than let them put a Seeker into me?"

I was speechless with shock.

"I know where too many human camps are. My father's, Dorsey's – you have to promise me!"

"Alex-"

"Just promise me, ok?" His eyes bored into mine.

I nodded reluctantly.

Falling Smoke arrived with the gurney.

"Sweet dreams," he said, spraying the anaesthetic, and Alex's eyes finally let mine go.

It went without a hitch. Falling Smoke dressed me up as a surgical nurse like before, and we strolled through the hospital with complete confidence. People melted before him. The scan was done and we were out again in no time. Alex was just waking up when we got back to camp.

"Jaw's cracked, not broken. His liver's bruised, it has been bleeding but it's stopped now. He'll be pretty sore for a while, but so long as he rests, he'll be fine," Falling Smoke told the others. Henry and Dorsey helped Alex out of the car and onto a sleeping mat. They'd set up camp while we were gone.

"Don't everyone thank me at once," Falling Smoke said, amused.

"So he can eat?" Dorsey asked.

"Sure," he replied. Dorsey brought over a bowl of steaming stew and tried to spoon feed him. Alex took it from her gently and fed himself. I grabbed another bowlful and tucked in too, relief releasing my hunger.

"You've all been tied up," Falling Smoke said, looking at our wrists. There was an embarrassed silence.

"I guess there's no point denying it," Henry said.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Falling Smoke asked. We looked at each other. I longed for them to trust him. At the same time I had a deeply ingrained block about talking of our work. Especially to a Soul.

"An edited version?" Dorsey asked, and we nodded.

"We were visiting a human group," Dorsey began, "They…"

"Weren't quite as friendly as we'd thought?" Henry suggested.

"They were keeping us hostage to make Flame steal stuff for them," Dorsey said.

"And…" Falling Smoke said, "so, what, they just let you go?"

"Um," Dorsey said, looking at me.

"We escaped," I said.

"Naturally! It is the sworn duty of all officers to try to escape," he laughed.

"Well, that does sound like the edited version," Falling Smoke said when I didn't say anything further.

"Actually, Flame rescued us," Dorsey said, "After she escaped. How _did_ you escape?"

"Oh, you didn't try and blind them with torches, did you?" Henry said groaning. I filled them in.

"You _headbutted_ her?" Henry asked, laughing.

"Well, I would have punched her but my hands were tied," I said defensively.

"Probably just as well you headbutted her," Henry said, eyebrows raised.

"Hey, I punch hard!" I protested. Falling Smoke shook his head smiling. I saw myself suddenly, trying to live up to human standards that no Soul would ever dream of aspiring to. Was I now proud of how violent I could be, if needed? I sat back, disturbed.

"She sure does," Alex said ruefully.

"Look who's talking! You're the one that gave her a fractured skull!" Henry said.

"Man if I ever see that Foreks again, he'll get more than a fractured skull," Alex growled.

"You'll wait your turn boyo," Dorsey said, "Me first."

"Uh guys," Henry said, "I thought you said this place wasn't inhabited?"

A young girl was standing in the clearing. Her blue eyes shone in the sunlight.

***

The only question she would answer was her name: Alida. Her dress was threadbare, the hem disemboweled and trailing stitches, the material baked by the sun, like her hair and skin.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"It's not safe for you here," she said, "You need to keep moving."

"We can't keep moving," Henry said.

"Foreks patrols through here now. It's not safe," Alida continued. We exchanged nervous glances.

"Well we can't stay here then," Dorsey said, echoing our thoughts.

"Alex needs to rest," Falling Smoke said. "You keep galavanting around and you'll start bleeding again."

"You are a doctor?" Alida asked. Falling Smoke nodded.

"We have to leave, we can't sit here like sitting ducks - hey, wait!" Dorsey said. The girl had run off into the bushes and was gone.

We packed the camp up and loaded it into the packs Falling Smoke had brought for us. Then we argued about where to go next.

"Do you guys argue over _everything_?" Falling Smoke asked, fascinated. The others ignored him. We were so intent on figuring out where to go next we didn't notice when the girl returned. This time she had a human woman with her. She looked distrustfully at us.

"Alida, are you going to introduce us?" Dorsey asked gently.

"Margie," the woman said.

"Henry, Alex, Flame, Falling Smoke and I'm Dorsey," Dorsey said, holding out her hand. Margie shook it warily.

"Who is she?" Margie asked, pointing at me.

"My sister," Dorsey said, frowning, and moving over to put an arm around me.

"She's a Soul." Margie stated.

"Yes. She helps us," Dorsey said.

"And so does he?" Margie asked, pointing at Falling Smoke.

"When I can," he replied.

"You are a doctor," Margie said.

"Yes," he replied.

"You have medicines," she said.

"Yes." She thought about this for a moment. She turned to Alex.

"He's hurt?" she asked. Dorsey nodded.

"Foreks held us prisoner," Dorsey said, "he needs to rest." Margie nodded.

"We have a camp, a few hours walk away. You can all rest there." Margie said. We looked at each other in surprise.

"I didn't know that anyone lived here," I said.

"We have had to move here," Margie said, "Foreks destroyed our other camp."

We looked at each other, weighing up the offer.

"A few hours walk is doable," Henry said.

"If we go slowly, take in turns helping him, there's three of us-" Dorsey said.

"Four of us," Falling Smoke said. We all looked at him.

"We can't guarantee your safety," I said, holding his arm, "You shouldn't get involved."

"I don't think they want to hurt us, they've had the opportunity and they haven't yet," he replied.

"They'll miss you at work," Alex said.

"Actually I told them I'm taking sick leave," he said.

"Oh is that why you kept coughing!" I said, "I thought you were trying to tell me something-"

"You've done enough. I'm fine, I don't need you telling me how to rest," Alex said tersely, "Just leave us some medicines and go home."

"Well, if I'm understanding this right, it's not really you guys that need me, it's them," Flaming Smoke said. We looked at Margie and she hesitated, then nodded.

"Oh game over, man, game over!" Henry chuckled. Alex shrugged and turned away.

"Let's get going then," Dorsey said, eager to be on the move, throwing me my pack. I shouldered it in unhappy silence. Henry put his arm around Alex and helped him along the trail. Dorsey followed, carrying hers and Alex's pack back and front. Falling Smoke followed behind me, making beeping noises.

"No, I don't think he likes you at all. Beep beep beep. No, I don't like you either." I rolled my eyes, but chuckled despite myself.

"So you're still talking to me then?" he asked, "Your thoughts betray you; I feel the good in you, the conflict."

I sighed.

"I suppose I am then," I muttered, "You shouldn't be doing this."

"I'll just check these people are ok then I'll go home, I promise."

"I'm not sure if I believe you. You Healers are a tricksy bunch," I said, smiling.

"I'm mortally offended," he said. Then the trail led uphill and we had no breath for banter.


	12. Chapter 12

**Mending**

*******

Margie's camp was in a high, secluded saddle between two hills, with large trees screening great views of the country around it. Camouflage tarps on poles provided basic, tent-like shelters from the sun and cold wind, and Alida led us to an empty one. Margie took Falling Smoke to see his patient in another. We set up camp, making Alex as comfortable as we could. He was pale and quiet after the long walk and I worried that he was bleeding again. _At least he's safe now_, I thought. For a little while anyway. I hated being constantly on the run. I was much happier being the hunter. We tucked blankets around him to shelter him from the breeze that blew from the lowlands up to the camp and through the open sided shelters, and he fell asleep straight away, his face showing the strain of the long, slow walk.

Falling Smoke strode over to us.

"Can you give me a hand?" he said to me quietly. I left Alex with Dorsey and Henry and followed him into the hospital shelter. The sides of the shelter had been covered in tarps, enclosing the space in a green twilight. Three people were lying on the ground, two adults and a child. Falling Smoke went up to the nearest adult and showed me her small deep circular wounds.

"Gunshot wounds!" I exclaimed. I looked at the others, "All of them?" He nodded, setting up fluid bags. "Who did this?" I asked. I knew it was no accident. Souls could not have done this…

"Hungry Flame, focus," Falling smoke said sternly, "They've lost a lot of blood. We need to give them more." I looked at his medical supplies.

"But we don't have any," I said.

"We have plenty. Take these kits and type all the patients. The instructions are inside. Then type everyone, yourself included, ok?" I nodded. "Tell me as soon as you get a match for that one – what's her name?" he asked Margie.

"Laura," whispered Margie.

"Right. Start with her family. Margie, can you help her?" he directed. Margie nodded and we got to work.

The kits were easy to use. I enlisted Dorsey's help and we soon found a match for each patient.

"Keep going!" Falling Smoke urged as he set up the first blood transfusion between Kent and Laura. "Type everyone! We'll need more blood than Kent here can give us."

"Hey, we're a match, sis!" Dorsey said, "That's good to know."

"We're back ups for Stan then, after Raj is done." I said, marking our names in lists on the back of my hand.

Falling Smoke worked tirelessly, stabilizing the patients, anaesthetising them, finding and removing the bullets, treating the infections, and healing their wounds. Margie and I acted as nurses where we could. I noticed how he closed the wounds layer by layer.

"If you just pour Heal on, the different parts of the wound can heal onto themselves," he explained, dusting Heal onto a layer while I held it in place. "That's fine in a clean knife wound, everything just snaps back into place. But you don't want lacerated bladder healing onto intestine, lungs adhering to ribs, that sort of thing. That's a lot messier. It'll usually still sort itself out eventually, if you've got enough Heal, but it's better to do it right first time. See, Heal is just a combination of cytokines – molecular messages, and building blocks. It tells the cells to heal and helps by providing some of the resources. But we haven't got the organizing bit down pat yet. There. Laura's done. Keep her drip running but let her wake up by herself. Now Stan." He stripped his gloves off and snapped on new ones, spraying Stan with anaesthetic.

"Grab me a torch? We're losing sunlight."

"I get the idea you've done this before," I said, shining the torch into Stan's darkly glinting belly.

"Trauma is trauma, wherever you are. Just putting back the pieces. Glorified anatomy really. What's really handy is having all the pieces. I helped out in Rwanda a few times, the humans use axes there. Helps to be able to match the hand to the actual arm that's lost it."

"That's disgusting! No wonder you're warped," I said.

"Says the girl holding the large intestine," he grinned at me.

"Oh, is that what this is?"

"Hold it steady now and be ready with the flush," he said, "Pop Quiz: what happens to intestinal blood pressure if this bullet slips and blocks the portal vein?" I noticed Dorsey looking over my shoulder with interest.

"It's so much grosser than a rabbit somehow," she mused, "and yet really very similar."

"Why were you doing surgery on a rabbit?" Falling Smoke asked.

"Getting dinner ready," Dorsey replied. I looked up joyfully. "It's almost done. Are you going to take a break or eat when you're done?"

"We'll be done in an hour or two. This is going better than I'd thought. Must be my lovely assistants. We won't need your blood after all. Keep some dinner warm for us?" Falling Smoke said without looking up. Dorsey commiserated with me silently and left us to it.

"Hey Nurse Betty," Henry said sleepily, when at last we limped over to their shelter.

I grunted and collapsed next to Dorsey, who ladled me out some stew by firelight.

"Will they be alright?" Dorsey asked, handing me a bowl and filling another for Falling Smoke.

"Those three will be ok, I think" Falling Smoke said quietly, picking through his stew, "They lost two others before we got here. Stew _again_?"

"Watch it, mister, or you can go to bed hungry next time," Dorsey said, hitting his hand with the spoon."

"Oh! Bed!" I groaned happily, "I never thought we'd get here." My legs ached with standing in one spot most of the day.

"You just lay your head down here, sweetheart," Dorsey said, rubbing my head, "It's all ready for you."

But Falling Smoke made no move towards the beds, and gazed into the trees, shadows on the dark night sky.

"Red leader, come in Red Leader, do you copy?" I said into a pretend radio microphone.

"Copy that, Gold leader," he said smiling softly, "Just thinking about our Mr Foreks…"

"Oh no, none of that, there'll be no thinking tonight," Dorsey said, "Straight to bed!"

"Yes ma'am," Falling Smoke said. Blissfully I sank into sleep.

***

I vaguely heard Falling Smoke checking on his patients during the night, but didn't wake up properly til Dorsey sat on me.

"Go away, you beast!" I groaned.

"If you don't wake up now you'll miss breakfast," Dorsey warned. I pushed her off and sat up grumpily.

"Good morning Sunshine," Henry said, chucking me some bread, "You look worse than Alex." I looked at Alex in fright, but he was quietly eating breakfast lying on his bed. I heaved over and pulled up his shirt.

"Hey!" he protested. His bruises hadn't gotten any worse, so I let his shirt drop, flopped back on my bed and ate my bread.

"What's up with you?" Alex asked.

"Stayed up past her bedtime helping our good doctor," Dorsey said, bringing me some juice, "Obviously not cut out for a healing profession."

"Yeah, I'd definitely pick her for some kind of destructive employment," Henry said. I threw some bread at him.

"Well, all our patients survived the night," Falling Smoke said happily, entering the shelter and sitting down on my bed, "So on that basis I'd employ you."

Margie followed soon after.

"Now we've got a few minutes spare, I'd thought I'd take you on the grand tour?" she asked. I got up slowly to follow the others.

"Oh no you don't." Dorsey said, steering my shoulder around, "It's your turn to look after our patient."

"I don't need babysitting," Alex said. "I know how to rest."

"No, you don't," Dorsey said, "Turn our back on you for a second you're sure to get into mischief. I'll take you round later."

"Well at least something good came out of this," Alex said after they left, resting his chin on his hands. It was so good to hear him talk normally.

"What do you mean," I said, sitting next to him, watching how his mouth settled into a habitual frown these days.

"If I hadn't gotten you all into this mess, I guess those three people would have died." His stormy eyes seemed to focus on a troubling distance.

"Hey," I said, gripping his shoulders and leaning my forehead onto his. "Enough with the crazy talk, ok?" I traced the raw marks on his face with my fingertips. They were staring to look less angry, yellowing around the edges.

"You shouldn't have kept trying to fight them," I said.

He took my hands in his.

"I… We didn't know what was happening to you… What was I supposed to do, sit back and - oh, hello," A small blond head was peaking at us from behind a tree. Upon being seen it vanished into the undergrowth. I pulled my hands out of his. I was getting too close to remembering the feel of his hands, holding me firm round my waist as he lifted me and Bhask into the air in a greeting hug…

"Just keep your head down next time, ok?" I said, shutting down the memories methodically.

"There's going to be a next time??"

"Have you seen Etty?" Alida said, running up, "my little sister: small, blond, kinda shy?"

"Yeah she was just here. She doesn't talk much."

"She doesn't talk at _all_," Alida said, running off again.

***

"Well that was quick," Alex said, as the others filed back into the shelter.

"Not the biggest camp in the world. Come on Flame, I'll show you where you can clean up," Dorsey said. She led me to a sun washed rocky area where there was soap and bowls of water to rinse with. We lathered the soap over our clothes to clean them too.

"Have a nice chat with Alex?"

"Trying to get him to take better care of himself."

"Yeah, he got pretty knocked around."

"Slow learner, huh? Only took me two slaps to learn to be quiet," I said.

"Flame, he didn't know where you were, what they were doing to you… he was going nuts worrying about you," Dorsey said, her eyes hurt. "I thought it was sort of brave of him, you know? The rest of us just sitting there terrified, like rabbits. At least he was trying to do something." I shook my head in bemusement. Typical human; _proud _of useless and insane acts of violence. But then I remembered Forek's men talking about Dorset biting them and the boys kicking them, and I felt ashamed. I hadn't been able to do anything.

"I heard… I heard about what they tried to do to you…" I said softly. Her face was immediately hard, shut. She put her fingers on my lips and shook her head.

We walked back to the shelter in silence. Henry, Falling Smoke and Margie were sitting around Alex, Alida leaning on Margie and stringing a daisy chain.

"How come they had so many gunshot wounds at once? What happened here?" Henry was asking Margie as we sat down.

"Foreks wanted to extend his empire. We were in the way."

"He has an empire?"

"Only in his mind."

"Wait, he shot those people? On purpose?" Dorsey asked.

"Him or his men," Margie said.

"But there were children…"

"It doesn't matter to him. Anyone that gets in his way is expendable. If you don't join him, he beats you."

"Oh we know all about that."

"This can not be allowed to happen," Falling Smoke suddenly said, angrily. "You should tell the Seekers where he is, let them deal with him. That's what they are there for."

I was shocked.

"I can't just call the Seekers in; the other humans would never go near me again!"

"You have to do something. What if he kidnaps another Soul? Decides to extend his empire again? You can't keep running forever, Margie."

"Foreks is the problem," Margie said, nodding, "Without him, the others wouldn't dare."

"But what can we do? He kicked our asses back there" Henry said.

"We weren't prepared, he took us by surprise," I said.

"We could set a little trap of our own for him," Dorsey said.

"And then what?" This stumped us.

"Maybe we don't have to fight him," I said. "We want the Seekers to scare him off, without actually bringing in the Seekers right?"

"Well, they don't know who's a Seeker and who's not," I continued. "If a big group of Souls started coming through that forest…"

"A big group? You and Falling Smoke are not a big group."

"Others could help. They wouldn't have to know what the real purpose was, we could make it so they thought it was some kind of game, a treasure hunt or..." Falling Smoke said, nodding.

"Hold on, you're going to lead a group of unarmed, unprepared, non-violent people right to him?" Alex said shaking his head, "that's crazy."

"Anyone got any better ideas?" I asked. There was silence, but I could tell no one was happy with this plan.

***

The patients had recovered well and I reminded Falling Smoke of his promise to go back to safety, in the city. I walked him back to his car slowly, enjoying how the sun filled the air with the smell of bark sap.

"It reminds me of Lebanon, this place," he mused, enjoying the views through the trees on the way down.

"Sounds like you've been a few places then."

"Yeah, I suppose so," he said, "Lots of places I haven't been, too."

"So how come you ended up at a general hospital in the city?"

"All that violence… even humans find it hard to take. Souls find it especially… difficult," he said. I was surprised, I hadn't thought anything was difficult for him.


	13. Chapter 13 seeking

**Seeking**

***

The day stretched on into a warm afternoon, and with all our food prepackaged thanks to Falling Smoke, there was little to do but laze around and annoy each other. Dorsey, Henry, and I sprawled on the washing rocks where the sun was warmest, leaving Alex to sleep in peace in the shade of the shelter. Dorsey was throwing tiny pebbles at Henry, then pretending to be asleep. I watched entranced: this was not a game Souls played. Henry finally figured out what was going on, and snatched her hat.

"Hey!" she said, trying to grab it back. Henry was too quick so Dorsey tackled him. He slithered out of her grasp, backed up to a rock and sat firmly on her hat, grinning.

"Oh Henry, I give up," Dorsey said, lying down again on the warm rocks on her belly. He chucked her back her hat.

"Ooh, now, what's this?" Henry, whispered, grabbing my pendant and pulling it off my head.

"No!" I shouted.

Henry curled his fist around my pendant and held it too high for me to reach.

"No! Give it back!" I jumped ineffectually. Henry laughed delightedly. I composed myself so as not to give him any satisfaction. I tried to dig him in the ribs but he caught my hand. I hooked my leg around behind his knee and tried to yank him off balance, but he pulled my hand sharply and spun me around so my own arm kept me pinned to him. I bucked and wriggled more and more desperately, but his grip was vice-like.

Alex limped up.

"I thought you were supposed to be resting" Dorsey asked sleepily.

"I'm sick of resting. What's going on?" Alex said shortly.

"Flame's having some kind of fit."

"Where's her pendant?" Alex asked.

"Oh," Dorsey said, "Henry, give it back. Do you have to be _so_ childish?"

Alex grabbed it off him and handed it to me. I took it but he kept holding the strap.

"What are you going to do," he asked gravely, "if you lose this one day?" He looked into my eyes, waiting. I frowned, tugged it out of his hands and tied it back on. It was not his to worry about.

"_I'm_ the child?? She's like 3 years old!" Henry said.

"Seekers!" hissed Kent, sprinting into the campsite. At once the tarps were ripped off the bushwood poles and the camp was packed up lightening fast. The poles were left on the ground, looking like logs fallen haphazardly with age.

"Wait, leave my stuff out," I said, grabbing it and hastily rearranging it to look like a one-person camp. The others were already disappearing into the bush, the last ones covering the ground with old leaves from bulging garbage bags.

I put the toy gun in my holster and sat down to boil a cup of tea. My heart beat calmed in exact and opposite parallel to the increasing agitation of the water.

"Freeze!" came a quiet voice behind me. _Just be friendly,_ I thought, forcing myself to be composed. I looked up smiling at the three Seekers who surrounded me with guns raised.

"I was just making you guys a cup of tea," I said brightly. "Sugar?" They lowered their guns slowly and then holstered them.

"You're up here by yourself?" the lead one asked, after introductions all round.

"I heard rumours of humans round here," I replied, handing round steaming mugs, "but I think they must have just been passing through. What did you hear?"

"Same thing," a dark haired one said, sipping his tea and sitting down on a log. "Haven't found anything, though."

"Me neither," I said, trying not to sound relieved.

"You've been around here for a while?" the seeker asked.

"Oh yes," I said, "Lovely country." I gestured at the view. "I figure I've got a better chance of picking them up if I hang around."

"Looks like we're wasting our time then," the dark haired one said.

"Oh no!" I said, "it's worth it just for the view, don't you think?"

"Not a great place to camp though," I added, rubbing my legs and grimacing, "Ants everywhere!" The three seekers got up gingerly.

"Well, thanks for the tea," the third seeker said.

"No problem," I said, gathering their mugs, "Good luck!" And they were gone.

***

I gave them half an hour to get well clear, then whistled Icefire's song. Dorsey creeped over and grabbed me.

"You are a _gem_!" she whispered in my ear, grinning.

"Tea?" I offered quietly. She took it giggling.

"Where are the others?" I asked

"Scouting, keeping tabs on the Seekers. Looks like they're leaving though."

"Off to write a lovely report on how there aren't any humans here," I chuckled.

The others trickled back in over the afternoon and reconstructed the camp, pulling up the shelters again and sweeping up the leaves. Soon dinner was cooking, the last humans had straggled in, the stars appearing, and it was as if nothing had happened.

Although I ate with the others, my mind was elsewhere, tugging at a niggle that I couldn't quite grasp. Foreks, Seekers,… there had to be a way… Clouds had gathered overhead and a light rumbling of thunder started up in the distance. I kept worrying at it while Raj got out a guitar and they started playing songs around the campfires. Alida asked us to play something.

"Well that would be Dorsey, then," Henry said, lying next to me and twining his arm round mine.

"What, you play music too?" I asked.

"Not as well as she sings," Henry said, as Dorsey handed the guitar to Alex.

"Man, is there anything you can't do?" I said.

"Yeah, be quiet," Henry said grinning, at the same time as Alex said "Be diplomatic," which earned them each a slap. _And whistle_, I thought, but kept my mouth shut.

"More Than Words?" Dorsey asked Alex, and he looked sharply at her, but she held his gaze, and he looked down, focusing on putting together the chords. Dorsey began to sing a lovely slow love song, and then Henry joined in softly with the harmony. Dorsey watched me the whole time, but Alex never looked away from the strings. Margie's people listened in appreciative silence as the thunder rumbled closer.

"The heat seeking goggles!" I yelled abruptly.

"What?"

"We can dress humans up as Seekers: wearing the heat-seeking goggles, no one will know they're not!" I said, excited. Henry looked thoughtful.

"I guess they wouldn't recognize us if we were all professionally suited up," Henry said.

"You could have something there," Dorsey said. Alex was frowning.

"I don't like it," he muttered.

"You don't like anything," Dorsey said rolling her eyes.

"I don't like the idea of us walking back in there like we're the friggin' army when we're just 4 people!" he said heatedly.

"I never thought I'd see the day," Henry said, "Alex scared."

Alex turned to look at him very, very slowly. There was an electric silence.

"Well I don't like the idea of just turning our backs and letting that crazy monster terrorise everyone," Dorsey said, throwing the No Pain at Alex.

"But basically we're agreed, right? We want him dead?" Dorsey asked.

Alex nodded slowly and silently.

"Ohh yes," Henry said.

"Flame?" Dorsey asked. I bit my lip, looking at Alex's healing face. Death, murder, revenge; these were not things Souls were supposed to want.


	14. Chapter 14 planning

**Planning**

*******

"Who do you like better, Alex or Falling Smoke?" Dorsey asked.

"What?" I asked incredulously, wondering whether I was more angry or stunned. We were driving down to the truck storage to stock up on medical supplies. We'd left Henry and Alex at the motel to freshen up after our long stint at Margie's camp.

"It's a valid question," she said. I shook my head and concentrated on the road.

"Ok, tell me about when you first met Alex," she said. I sighed, digging back around forbidden memories.

"Uh, well, he was going to kill me so I pulled a gun on him…"

"Alrighty then!" she said hastily, "tell me why you didn't turn him in."

"Because he had my gun?"

"_Flame_!"

"Alright, alright," I tried to remember, "Because," I took a deep breath, "because Bhask wouldn't let me."

"Oh you're kidding."

I shook my head. Amazingly I wasn't dissolving into a mass of tears by saying his name. This was a first.

"Oookay, so why did you let him go?"

"I couldn't have him in the house."

"Oh. My. God." She stared at me.

"Well, I couldn't turn him in and I couldn't have him in the house, so what other choice was there?"

"Fine! You got him out of Seeker Headquarters? Why did you do that?"

"He was going to be implanted! It was wrong," I said. That was obvious.

"You are utterly impossible," she said, shaking her head. I looked at her but she was facing out the window.

"You know what I think?" she continued, "I think you have two lovely guys madly in love with you-"

"They're not madly in love with me-"

"And something is holding you back. Or someone," Dorsey said, leaning into me and lowering her voice, "I think you're still holding onto Icefire."

I said nothing. I didn't want to talk about Icefire almost as much as I didn't want to talk about Bhask.

"Tell me how he died, Flame," Dorsey said.

"No!" I said, annoyed.

"Why not?"

"Just like I wouldn't ask you about that horrible school place you went to. I know it hurts you to talk about it and I don't want to put you through that."

"Ok fine. But if it were you that died, would you want Icefire to never love anyone else?"

"Well, it would be sort of nice…" I mused. She rolled her eyes.

"What if it was years and years ago," She said, "and he had two lovely women madly in love with him-"

"Dorsey!" I interrupted. She talked over the top of me.

"Would you want him to ignore them and spend his whole life pining after you?"

"Well…," I said, "no…"

"Ok," Dorsey said, and thankfully left it at that.

***

We repacked our bags at the hotel, catching up on news from the television and eating pizza. There was a segment on a theft at a Seeker depot. Some weapons had been stolen. We stopped packing and looked at each other.

"I don't like the smell of that," Dorsey said

"That'll be our friend Foreks for sure," Henry said.

"Great," said Alex, "armed and even more dangerous." Dorsey and Henry looked at each other, and said no more. Alex was obviously not in the mood discussing our plans for Foreks.

I called Jan to tell her about the lost camera and footage. She had a message for me from Falling Smoke.

"Why didn't he just call you?" she wondered.

"Oh, I lost my phone," I said. It wasn't untrue.

"You lost your phone, you dropped the camera… you must be the unluckiest Soul around!"

I was glad she couldn't see me blushing through the phone line.

***

Falling Smoke had asked to meet us at the warehouse again. Dorsey came along for the ride. Though the complex was deserted at this hour of the night, we parked inside the warehouse, and got out, staring in amazement. It was as if the truck had never emptied it. Pallets of medical supplies stacked everywhere.

"Impressed?" Falling Smoke asked.

"There can't have been another earthquake," I said, narrowing my eyes at him suspiciously.

"Turns out there was interest in creating a stockpile for just such an emergency. Aaand, these things have a use-by date, so the stockpile has to be constantly replaced."

"That's perfect." I looked at him in wonder.

"Have you worked out a plan for taming our dear Mr Foreks?" he asked. I told him about my idea.

"It's so stupid, it's positively brilliant" Falling Smoke said, "and what's more, heat-seeking goggles are standard kit for disaster situations."

"You are not serious!"

"Would I lie to you? Ta-da!" He pulled out a box.

"Oh baby," Dorsey crowed, "No _way_ Alex can stop us now!"


	15. Chapter 15 hunting

**Hunting**

*******

The plan was to pretend to be Seekers, combing the forest in search patterns, destroying anything we found of Foreks', and scattering his people like rabbits.

At least, that was the plan.

"I can't _believe_ I'm dressed up like a Seeker," Henry said grinning, as we walked slowly through the dark forest.

"Shut it," Dorsey muttered at him. Dorsey, Alex, and Henry wore the heat seeking goggles, and between them Falling Smoke and I had our alien eyes on display. Rain had come and gone all morning, leaving behind misty hulks like amorphous bison trailing all through the forest. We had planned a zigzagging pattern so as not to hit the camp first up, minimizing the chance of conflict. But so far, the forest seemed eerily empty, silent but for the water dripping from the trees.

A squall of rain passed through, and I watched Alex's shoulders hunched in futile defence against the wet. But we kept walking our pattern regardless. It was only water. It soon passed, and the light glaring through the clouds picked out the thousands of replenished silver pinpoints hanging from each leaf. And so the morning went on, different trees, different trails, but the same empty stillness.

"I don't like this," Dorsey muttered. But there was nothing to see to tell us what was wrong.

Then there was a scuffling to the left, and I turned to see a human scrambling away through the woods. The others watched, frozen.

"Henry! Falling Smoke! After him! You're Seekers, remember?" I hissed. At once Henry sprinted after him, Falling Smoke not far behind. We followed more sedately, scanning the trees for a sign of a trap. Then, a high pitched cry had us running along the muddy trail.

"Wait," Falling Smoke said, his hand outstretched to hold us back. Ahead the trail turned sharply and then dipped steeply downhill. Henry lay at the bottom of the hill, having slipped on the mud and leaves. The human was nowhere to be seen.

"I don't like this _at all_," Dorsey hissed.

"You alright, Henry?" Falling Smoke called.

"Fine!" Henry called back, standing and wincing, "Just twisted my ankle a bit. I'll walk it off." He rejoined us and we kept walking. The day was starting to clear. The sun shone in slanted shafts through the massive trees, throwing the shadows deeper into darkness.

By the time we had completed one search pattern, Henry was limping badly. Falling Smoke and Dorsey opened the pack of medical supplies and examined his ankle, while Alex and I fanned out in the trees a little way. We were coming close to the camp. A shiver went down my spine at the thought. I looked at Alex through the trees, but his expression was firm.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Foreks aiming his shotgun. As I spun around, I saw Alex raise his gun, aiming at Foreks.

I heard the sound of gunshots, and I was on the ground. Foreks was lying on the ground too, his eyes glazed, blood dripping from his mouth.

"Alex?" I tried to whisper, but no sound came out.

"Falling Smoke! Get over here now!" Alex shouted, clamping his hands over my belly.

Someone was running through the trees and I saw Falling Smoke leaning over me.

He swore quietly.

"Put your hands here and here and keep them there," he said to Alex. I had never heard him sound so tense.

"We need blood. Dorsey!" he called. I felt the world getting more and more unreal, my skin tingling strangely.

"_Dorsey_!" he shouted again.

"She's going to make it, isn't she?" Alex asked, his face stony. Falling Smoke looked at him, but said nothing and kept working. Alex's face went white and he looked away for a moment.

"Get her out of there," he said through clenched teeth.

"I can't, Alex," Falling Smoke muttered.

"Get her out!" Alex shouted.

"Alex, I can't! I don't have any cold storage tanks," he glanced at me and lowered his voice, "She can't survive without a host, and I don't have any tanks, so…" My vision disappeared and I heard Alex faintly before I lost consciousness.

"Yes, you do," Alex said.


	16. Chapter 16 waking

**Waking**

*******

I had the strangest dream.

I dreamt I was being bombarded with someone else's memories. There was me, lying on the ground, looking shocking, like I was dead. Me driving, frowning in concentration. Me sleeping. Me smiling, relaxing in the sun. There was one of a burnt red shoe. Bhaskar fishing in a stream. Bhaskar dozing by a campfire… Memories both tender and painful, and I grasped at them equally, searching for meaning.

And my body felt so strange. Heavier. Stronger. But the dream faded quickly, and I slept undisturbed again.

***

When I opened my eyes, there was a kind face smiling at me like he had known me all my life.

"It's Aliiive! It's Alliive! Hello, Hungry Flame," he said warmly, his eyes twinkling. I felt instantly comfortable. I curled up my arms, straightened them out, felt my hands all over.

"What _are_ you doing?" he asked.

"I had the strangest dream…" I whispered.

"Lie still, you goose," Dorsey said. I smiled at her.

"Dorsey," I said grabbing her hand. She looked pale, but her eyes were shining with happiness.

"Isn't she lovely when she first wakes up?" Falling Smoke said, head to one side, watching me.

"Major improvement," Henry said. I couldn't stop smiling.

"How much No Pain am I _on_?" I asked. They laughed.

"Where's Alex?" I asked finally.

"Over there," Dorsey whispered, pointing to a corner of the room where Alex sat in a chair, resting his jaw on his fists, watching us.

"What's he doing over there?" I whispered back.

"He thinks you'll be mad at him." Henry said.

"For shooting Foreks?" I asked. They looked at each other.

"For saving your life." Henry said. I frowned.

"Falling Smoke took you out of Burning Light's body and put you in Alex's for safekeeping," Dorsey said softly.

"You were supposed to be asleep the whole time,"

"But we got a bit caught up in the saving-your-body bit, and you started to wake up."

"Do you remember?"

"I thought it was a dream." I whispered. Those pictures, those memories, they were _his_… and now they were mine too. I felt like I'd been given something infinitely precious. Memories of Bhask I had never known, as he lived in Alex's memory still. For once, I didn't want to fight them. There were painful, but I found myself welcoming that pain: it brought Bhask back to me a very little bit. I felt closer to him than I had in months. Those unleashed memories began to tiptoe into the void of his loss.

"Ooops – nurse coming!" Henry hissed, and the humans piled themselves into the closets.

"We're in a Healing Centre?" I whispered to Falling Smoke, focusing on the present.

"Where did you think you were?" he laughed, "Can't restart a heart anywhere else."

"My heart…?"

"You can read the surgical report later – the edited version," Falling Smoke said, winking. The nurse passed without looking in. "Right now I'd better get those guys out of here." He leaned in towards me and I froze as he kissed my forehead. Henry and Dorsey said goodbye quickly, but I held Alex's hand back.

"Thank you," I whispered. He gave me a guarded look, and I let him go.

***

I had to stay in hospital for weeks. Falling Smoke said my heart muscle was damaged and weak from the CPR and the defibrillation, and had me hooked up to machines to monitor its rhythm. Finally he was convinced I was safe to get up, and then put me through a barrage of tests. At last, late one night, he woke me up and wheeled me to a loading dock. It was deserted apart from Dorsey looking around anxiously from the driver's seat of my car.

"Dorsey!" I hissed gleefully, hugging her hard. Healing Centre's may be great for healing flesh, but there was nothing like Dorsey for healing the soul. Dorsey grinned, put the car into gear and Falling Smoke went to close the door.

"Wait," I said, "You're not coming?"

"I've got a few shifts to catch up on," he smiled, "It looks, after all, as if you will see Berlin before I do. Go on, get out of here!"

***

"Ok! I've got a good one! Ready?" Dorsey said, driving with one hand.

"Ok…" I said.

"Do you want to kiss Falling Smoke?"

"No!"

"Ha!" She looked at me triumphantly. I returned her glance, non-plussed. And this meant what to her?

"What about Alex?" she asked, glancing at me again, a little more carefully this time.

"Well, I've already kissed him-"

"What! When was this?!"

"In the cave, after the fire, I was saying goodbye and I kissed his head-"

"His head."

"Yes."

"Not his face."

"No, the top of his head."

"Oh. Well, I suppose it's a start. It doesn't really count as a kiss, you know. For future reference." She seemed to think I must have learnt something from this conversation, and drove in silent satisfaction. I didn't dare ask for an explanation; the whole topic made me uncomfortable and any interest in it on my part could provoke an all-out girl talk from Dorsey. Silence was safer. If I thought about it long enough I'd figure out where she was going with it.

We pulled up at the valley campsite, and slowly hiked up to Margie's camp through the darkness. The campfires were shielded so we didn't see how many people were there til we got right into the valley.

"There you are! You guys took forever!" Alida said, running up and hugging me. People crowded round.

"Hey - don't squeeze the patient," Henry warned, then hugged me as Alida stepped away. Arms were patting my shoulder, back, head, and I couldn't even see who they belonged too.

"Actually what we'd really like to do is sit down for a minute," Dorsey said, putting her finger in my back and pushing me through the people over to the nearest campfire. We sank happily onto a bed pulled up beside it.

"Stew!" I crooned as Henry ladled me a bowl.

"Aw, was hospital food _that_ bad?" Henry grinned. I was looking around for Alex, but the sea of faces surrounding us was missing his.

"Ok guys, excitement's over," Margie said, "There back, they're fine, let's give them some breathing space."

"Dorsey, where's Alex?" I whispered, nodding goodbye to the last few that waved on the way back to their beds. She pointed with her chin to a figure leaning against a tree, looking over the moonlit view. I smiled, recognizing his familiar silhouette. She grabbed my arm as I went to get up.

"Finish your stew," she said, "You just climbed a bloody mountain."

"I'm not tired, I've been stuck in bed for ages," I protested. She gave me a look.

"Yes mum," I said meekly, settling down and spooning in stew mechanically.

"He's been a bit quiet lately," Dorsey said hesitantly. I looked up frowning.

"Any idea why?" I asked. She shrugged, not looking at me. I gave her the empty stew bowl and walked over to him. He watched me come and looked away, guarded. Just like at the hospital.

I took his hand out of his pocket and held it between mine. He looked at my hands, but avoided my eyes.

"Nice view," I said eventually, "you want to go for a walk?"

"I thought you were supposed to be resting," he said.

"I'm sick of resting," I smiled at him.

We walked hand in hand under the stars, following the contour of the mountain away from the camp through the trees. It was a still, warm night, locusts warming up on the multistoried branches around us, the occasional frog calling up from a damper fold in the hill.

"Why did you think I'd be mad at you?" I asked finally, "you saved my life."

"But I invaded your mind," he said.

"Well, actually, I think I invaded yours," I said. Those images, his memories… I think I understood better now what Dorsey was on about.

"I think I saw some of your memories," he said finally, his voice deeply troubled.

"What did you see?" I asked warily. Was this why he was being so distant? Had he seen something that repelled him?

He shrugged.

"A lot of Bhaskar. A lot of Bhaskar and me together," his voice was husky. The familiar pain stung at me, but I welcomed it now. It would keep Bhaskar alive inside me, in my memories. If I lost that I would really have lost him forever. And Alex was an integral part of that. I needed them both.

Alex paused a moment.

"Our dear doctor," he said quietly.

We walked on in silence for a while.

"You really miss Bhask a lot, don't you?" he said, glancing up at me, "I don't think I really knew how much. You always seem so controlled." I smiled sadly, unable to respond. I knew he missed him too. I looked at his profile in the moonlight, strong, gentle, sad.

"About Falling Smoke," I said finally. Alex said nothing.

"The funny thing is, I really like him."

"Hilarious," Alex said sourly.

"But, I don't think I could _kiss_ him."

"Really," he said with more interest.

"The thing is, I didn't have a problem kissing you."

"Sorry, when was this?"

"In the cave, after the fire, when I was saying goodbye… "

"You kissed my _hair_."

"It was still a kiss. But it's a valid point. So Dorsey has this theory that I recoil from the idea of kissing him because, well, because of Icefire."

"Oh."

"Anyway, so Dorsey thinks I should do an experiment,"

"Oh she does, does she?" he muttered.

"If I kiss you and its ok then I'll know."

There was a silence.

"Wow, no pressure or anything," he muttered, "Just the one kiss?" This confused me for a moment.

"Let's go with one first and then see, ok?" I said. He sighed.

"Ok."

I closed my eyes stood ready to test the theory. He took me gently into his arms, sliding his hands up my back and holding me close. His face bent close to mine and brushed my lips, then softly pressed his mouth to mine, moving his lips to hold mine with quiet warmth. He pulled his head away. I kept my eyes closed.

"Well?" he asked. I bit my lip.

"Can you try it again?" I said. He leant in again and kissed me more firmly this time, his hand cradling my neck. My hands reached around his back and I moved my mouth against his. He moved away and waited.

"Maybe one more time?" I said finally. He sighed, looked at me for a moment, and tried again. I pressed my mouth against his, unable to hold back any longer, and held him tightly in my arms. His hands slid down my back to my sides, and then his fingers dug into my sides mercilessly.

"You're a _monster_!" he said, grinning. I shouted out laughing and he tickled me til my legs collapsed helpless beneath me and he eased me down to the ground.

"Maybe I should get myself a _nice_ Soul who doesn't _lie_, and _deceive_" he said as I laughed uncontrollably, "Ouf! Or _slap_!" he said, grabbing my hand and kissing me again. I pulled my hand away and held him to me, kissing him back. For the first time, I felt myself floating free from fear, loss, and grief. I felt myself start to heal.

~ The End! ~

well, at least until teh next book ;) should be up in a few weeks


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